“Mirakle”

I wasn’t going to touch the story about “nut rage”, but I can’t seem to bring myself to deny long-time reader and all-around temptress, Dolly, who requested something be written.

I wasn’t going to touch the story because, let’s face it, anyone who knows anything about Klown knows that this isn’t news. Not even the scale of it is news. This is your typical, mundane Tuesday afternoon in Klown.

It’s so very fucking traditional.

Let’s do a quick recap:

Prior to the (most recent) Japanese colonization in 1910, Klown was a stinking, festering mud pit of lean-to shanties, teeming with unwashed masses of disease-bearing serfs. It was a dogpile of illiterate, toothless farmers shitting in the same kinds of holes in the ground in which they buried their “food”stuffs. And no, this isn’t hyperbole. A filthy cesspool of ignorance and peasantry.

Today it’s pretty much exactly the fucking same, only with some concrete, electric lights and PVC-clad whores with cosmetically-obtained garden spade chins.

Anywhore, the Japanese came in and industrialized the place. Building amazing and miraculous things that the locals had never imagined, things such as roads, plumbing, hospitals with soap, factories, toilets, power plants… they forcibly dragged the palsy child of Klown out of the feces-smeared cave of 15th century ignorance and into the 20th.

Thanks to the Americans, the Japanese were defeated in WW2 and forced to depart the Korean Peninsula (AKA “Asia’s Gallbladder”). They left behind all the infrastructure they had crafted over the previous 35 years. One can imagine the Klowns, simian like, grunting, pointing and poking with sticks the strange metal and stone remains, perhaps gnawing on the edge of a drill like an infant trying to assess whether a book is or is not edible.

In what might be called in the movie world Planet of the Klowns, preferential access to said infrastructure and factory equipment was given to ideological loyalists, and following a coup, the 60s and 70s saw the rise of the chaebol. A dictator hand-selecting family-owned conglomerates to not only have access to the Japanese-made infrastructure, but also the Japanese and American money that was flooding into the country.

Reparations and grants and loans flooded Klown, but it didn’t find its way to the masses. Some people hit the ghetto lottery, like Klowns who purchased worthless Gangnam real estate before the farmland was paved over and the value skyrocketed. But as a whole, South Korea hit the Cold War Proxy Lottery. Moronically-titled “Miracle on the Han”, there was nothing “miraculous” about it. Tons of unearned funds flooding into the hands of a corrupt government that, instead of improving the lives of the people (who were working in sweatshops for slave labor wages while doing, for free, the jobs civil servants should have been paid to do), gave the money to these Klown korportations in the form of guaranteed, low/no interest loans and kickbacks.

Miracle? The infrastructure was inherited, the money was misappropriated, the designs and methodology were straight up patent infringement, and all this was overlooked by Uncle Sam, who was right in the depths of the Red Scare and couldn’t be bothered trying to parent (great role model). Typically, the chaebol Klowns are all self-congratulatory over their economic success and market dominance though every single aspect of their empire was given to them on a platter, or stolen by them from far more deserving rivals.

From the outset, chaebols have been taught that the average Korean isn’t worth the foul phlegm they decorate every surface with. But who can blame them? This is Klown Kulture. There is no respect. There is no appreciation. There is no loyalty. To a Klown, other Klowns aren’t even human. So when this reptilian bitch, this walking, talking yeast infection, Cho Hyun-Ah, does as Klowns do to each other each and every day, I didn’t even bat an eye.

Par for the fucking course.

The reward for the Saemaeul Undong, Uri Nara generation was a giant ‘fuck you’. Impoverished grannies selling cooch for ten bucks while the big korporations ship jobs overseas and humiliate airline stewards. Korean-made products cost as much as double (or more) here in Korea compared to North America. The ‘thank you’ for delayed social growth, nay, social retardation, to make these chaebol families rich is to grossly overcharge the domestic consumers (over which they have a government-reinforced monopoly) to pad their thin margins as they remain competitive overseas against companies that actually innovate instead of stealing every single idea they have. And as unethical as western corporations (and humans in general when It comes to money and power) are, this just goes beyond in so many other levels. It’s pretty fucking sick.

This is all just one example of the many ways in which Klown is a giant lie.

Uri nara my ass. A bunch of goat-raping, syphilitic, simple-minded vassals, crawling and clawing, backstabbing and nut-raging. “Miracle”. Pft. The only miracle here is that the whole system hasn’t already imploded so dramatically that even the IMF couldn’t bail Klown out.

But that day is coming.

And when it does, anal pustules like Cho Hyun Ah and her ilk will do as so many propaganda-spewing inner party Klowns have done before them, take as much money as they can and emigrate it out of the kuntry. They’ll live their lives in luxury while the whole shithouse goes up in flames. Only the saving grace is that they won’t be throwing nuts in anyone’s face. Oh no. They’d best quickly learn how to shut their shout-talking Klown face holes and look over their shoulders.

Fuck Cho Hyun Ah. Fuck her father. Fuck the chaebol and fuck Klown.

These resource thieves have no value. With any luck, she’ll go off herself in a field somewhere like the Sewol owner. That way at least she’ll fertilize a few plants and help return some of the oxygen she’s stolen away from the rest of us.

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