Klown Komments 3

As usual, reposted from the comments section:

Adam Carr Writes (in response to “Self Kongratulatory“:

Hahaha. You’re still such a fucking waste of what would otherwise be talent. Only you would be such an adorable little bitch about being nominated for an award, even if it is rightly for being a sad wank stain. 😉

Oh Adam, did I hurt your feelings?

Look little guy, I know it’s tough, being old and balding and still making less than pretty much everyone you went to school with, but buck up, at least you have the K-blog awards!

It must be frustrating that I bang these little vents off in my scant spare time while you invest so, so much time and energy into pretending to be a “writer” and promoting your worthless blog.

You’ll never make money with your “writing”, and any life improvement you perceive it makes it strictly self-delusion. It’s sad. Sad you think you have any relevance.

But you don’t. Not at all.

What happens when you turn 50, and you’re still stuck here making next to minimum wage with progressively fewer employment opportunities? Thailand? Myanmar? Traditional Klown suicide?

I’d say marry a Klown girl with money, but one of them wouldn’t touch you with a full Ebola – grade bio hazard suit on.

Maybe you could blog about the future of loser esl teachers who struggle to find meaning by imagining themselves Internet famous via blogs while edging ever closer to perpetual unemployability in your next post. Title it “My Sad, Sad Future”

His Reponse (because little fucking Napoleon-complex sufferers like Klowns never know when to fucking stop):

I’m not an ESL teacher, and I probably make a lot more than you.

Damn, that was disappointing. I was hoping for better. It appears as though there is a limit to your pointed vitriol.
😦

Oh Adam, Adam, Adam.

Why do you have this obsession with embarrassing yourself?

https://kr.linkedin.com/pub/adam-carr/67/332/7a3

You work at SK Hynix (a job you have had a scant 5 months and from which you’re already looking for an exit strategy) as an “in house language consultant” who “confabs with [ajosshi] for a living”. [Previously: Nara Education Academy, Lotte Language Academy, LFA Academy] You could call yourself “Royal Magistrate of Foreign Vocal Formations” and it still fucking means you’re a fucking ESL teacher. You teach English. Get the fuck over yourself.

Delusional fucking twats… oh yeah, and you’re an “adventurer” (presumably because you’ve ventured outside your home state to this fucking toilet bowl) and a “writer” (who has a readership of maybe a few dozen sunken-chested Western reject peers desperately clamoring, as you do, to finally find acceptance here in the land of low standards). You’re a joke. You and your meaningless degree in fucking philosophy (no wonder you’re such an arrogant, useless sack of befoulment).

And no, Adam, you don’t make more than me. I make quite comfortably on the plus side of 9 figures a year. You know how I do it? As an ESL teacher, Adam. Kids, executives, kimchi moms… hell, even housepets if they pay me. I’m an ESL teacher. I’m not suffering from self-delusions of grandeur like you are. I don’t feel the need to lie about my profession to escape embarrassment.

You know how else I make that much Adam? Because I don’t waste time being a fucking cheerleader like you do. All that time you spend trying to get Klowns to like you, writing about how great Klown is, being an impotent, limp-dicked apologist… all wasted. Klowns don’t like you. They don’t want to be your friend. You’re a novelty. An organ grinder monkey. You’re not a person, you’re a waegookin. A gojangii. That’s what Klown is. But just as you insist on deluding yourself about being an ESL teacher, a writer and a relevant human being, you also lie to yourself about the nature of Klown.

You refuse to live in reality. And when it comes crashing in on you, and you realize you’ve put all your chips on the losing hand, it’s going to be fucking devastating to you. Who knows if your psyche can take it?

So come on here and lie all you fucking want about your lot in life Adam. I know the truth, and try as you might to escape it with fantasyland dreams of your life having meaning, you’re going to know the truth too. Maybe someone will blog about it. “Scantily Remembered ESL-Teacher-Turned-Klown Nosedives Into Phlegm and Vomit Puddle in HBC

The Ten Kommandments

religion.icon

Eksodus 24:

It was a dark and stormy night…

Kosus ascended Mount Beakdu, shining beacon of the Lord (Do you know the Korea? Do you know the Jesus? Do you know the Korea has four seasons and that the Jesus was Korean? Lord the God was the father of the Jesus, so also God Korean too!)

And the Korean Lord said unto Kosus, “Stumble drunkenly and red-faced up the rubberized walkways leading up the mountain (well, a hill that we’ll call a mountain), and try to remain upright and conscious there: and I will give thee tablets of stone, and a bowl of rotted cabbage, and there might be a grandmother up there willing to give you a blowjob for a man won… oh yeah, and a law, and Kommandments which I have written; that thou mayest yell and screameth at them until the sheep doth memorize them exactly. 13 And Koses rose up, and his minister, some guy named Kim: and Koses went up into the mount where the ajumma picked weeds to boil into “stew”…

The hill-we’ll-call-mountain was covered in smog and yellow sand for six days – Kosus spent his time chain smoking, squatting on the ground like a lower primate and dribble-spitting… and on the seventh day, Kosus stumbled into the midst of the exhaust fumes and found an Anma parlor with attached soju and stewed tentacle shop where he didst stay for 40 days and 40 nights, developing cirrhosis of the liver.

When he didst emerge, Koses spake: “The Lord, Korean God, has delivered unto me these two tablets of stone, written with the tiny, lady-like fingers of Korean God. And on them was written some stuff about safety regulations and ethics suggestions that I didn’t bother reading and some other words, which the Lord, Korean God, scream-spake with you whilst throwing chairs and having a full-on tantrum of the midst of the national assembly.”

And it came to pass, after he had passed out in a bush, come to and gave himself a bath with a wet tissue, Koses came nigh unto the camp, that he saw the foreigners with the Korean women, and the dancing, and the love hotels that wouldst not see he lay with the short-skirted ones, and Koses’ anger waxed hot as the greasy gochu-pepper-sauce-fueled shart that didst sneak from betwixt his sagging buttocks and through to stain his striped boxers, and he cast the tablets out of his hands as he couldst not find a trash can, and brake them into shards beneath the slide at the playground.

And the Lord, Korean God, spake unto Koses, “Hew thee two tablets of stone exactly like unto those tablets invented by Apple: and I will write “Samsung Innovation” upon these tablets, yea and the words that were on the first tablets, which thou brakest, I shall write something kinda close to what was written upon them, and I’ll maketh it look official.”

And thus didst The Lord, Korean God, and Koses deliver unto the righteous, chosen People of the Han The Ten Kommandments, which the chosen Klowns of the Land of Soju and Kimchi wouldst follow.

  1. Klowns are the Lords of the Universe and must believe themselves faultless and above reproach.
  2. Thou shalt endeavor to treat each and every person upon the Lord, Korean God’s, Earth as disrespectfully and rudely as possible. Thou must strive to make clear that thou dost wish to shit before thou dost swallow in the Human Centipede.
  3. Thou shalt expectorate thy deepest, yellowest, most vile phlegm as loudly as thy are able upon every surface thou findst. Thine neighbors and thine neighbors’ children and pets and grandparents who didst suffer for thee shalt be subjected to thine diseased mucus rockets. On occasions honoring the Lord, Korean God, which include every evening after 4:00pm, thou shalt upgradeth thine pollution to the Lord’s vomit. To demonstrate true fealty to the Lord, Korean God, thou shalt defecate in public and fall asleep in it.
  4. Thou shalt regard contracts, agreements and promises of all kinds as the Lord’s humor upon man, wantonly disregarding the oaths thy dost swear to keep. Thou shalt regard all property as thine property regardless of ownership, particularly the property of the intellect of the infidels, those who doest not believe in the Lord, Korean God.
  5. Thou shalt imbibe of the foulest and most chemical moonshine knowest. Thou shalt declare said moonshine both “traditional” and “delicious”, partaking until said moonshine doth become the most heavily imbibed spirit upon the Lord, Korean God’s, Earth. Thou shalt also remain weak and with chest that doth sink until thine belly grows far beyond it.
  6. Thou shalt enter into marriage with both shallow motivation and with thy in clear intent to remain in misery for the remainder of thine days. Thou shalt seeketh a bride with alien features of plastic or a groom with accounts which mommeth and daddeth didst fill. Thou shalt enter into repeated infidelity with thine whores or thine personal trainer or thine child’s Engrishee teachers.
  7. Thou shalt partake in the process of locomotion with the intent to fucketh upeth the intended path of those who wishest to traverse the Lord, Korean God’s, planet. Thou shalt leave thine carts at awkward angles in the center of the Lord’s Costco aisles. Thou shalt blocketh rush hour traffic by stopping thine car in the center of the most critical lane. Thou shalt walk four or five abreast whenst possible on crowded public sidewalks and paths, moving slowly and obliviously to all other traffic. Thou shalt generally proveth that thou is incapable of polite and logical movement of any kind and by any means.
  8. Thou shalt screameth and shouteth and hollereth and carry on in the loudest and most ear-shattering way possible in the name of the Lord, Korean God, at all times but most especially when most unnecessary. Thou must drive thine neighbors and adjacent humans insane with thine whining, melodramatically-inflected, peasant’s vocal stylings to the point where they doth wishest to plucketh thine vocal cords out with their fingernails.
  9. Thou shalt make filthy and repugnant every surface and region of the Lord, Korean God’s Earth in which thou dost reside. Thou shalt honor Korean God with compost food and cartoonish churches and litter and boundary-less children and unwashed line one riding and public toilet desecration and negligent homicide and vehicular homicide and untreated mental illness and propaganda and gaudy churches and loudspeakers and fliers and brothels until the light of thy world doth die a thousand deaths and is thus extinguished leaving no hope or happiness.
  10. Thou shalt remain eternally unapologetic. Thou shalt blame the Japs or the Yanks or the Aborigine or the Chinese or thine critics. Thou shalt never aspire to advance socially or to acknowledge thine shortcomings.

And Koses didst deliver the Kommandments to the Klowns, who didst smack together their rotted gums and declare the Kommandments “traditional”. And the Klowns didst rejoice and sacrifice a family pet or three for “stew”, for they knewest that the Lord, Korean God, didst look upon them with favor and excuseth all behaviors normally suited for lower animals such as tapeworms and sewer rats. And there were many days of soju drinking and whoring and embezzlement and patent infringement and denial. And the thunder didst crash and the hope of humanity died.

Amen.

Comfort Women

Ooooh!  Sensitive issue!  Hot button topic!

Is it though?  I mean, it is, but only in the sense that the crimes of the Nazis are “hot button topics”.

The Nazis industrialized death.  They did things so inhumane that sociologists and psychologists had to redefine their understanding of humanity.  Great, idealistic minds became pessimistic realists in the aftermath.  Today, however, the western world has moved on.  Actually, they moved on some time ago.  While there is always going to be a certain sideways resentment toward the Germans, intelligent and educated people who adhere to a principle called common sense realize that people are merely sheep who, unfortunately, are prone to blindly follow despotic leaders on occasion.  Any first year psych student has studied the classic experiments of psychologists like Milgram and Asche.  Their work on obedience and conformity show that, even without threat or incentive that approximately two thirds of all people will do what they are told to do by authority figures, even if that means casting aside human decency and morals.

Further, Germany and Japan are far from the only countries whose people have willingly, salivating-ly followed despots.  Obviously the masochistic North Koreans love their Kims, and the south has had a few monsters at the helm.  Just have a look at the Jeju Uprising (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeju_Uprising), a 1948 massacre of up to 60,000 people in the small island of Jeju by South Koreans.  Some 70% of the villages on the island were burned to the ground.  Victims were buried in mass graves.  This was more recent than WW2.  One interesting snippet: “The young men were executed, and girls were also executed after they had been gangraped over two weeks.”  Let’s come back to that one in a bit, shall we?

In Klown “culture”, Japan must never, ever be forgiven for the colonization of Korea.  Ever.  Now, before I continue, let me be clear in saying that I in no way condone the past actions of imperialist Japan.  I’m not excusing anything done in that time.  That being said… back to the “Japan is evil and must never be forgiven” thing.  There are few common topics in this vein for the glorious people of the Han:

Japan Desecrated Korea’s Wondrous Culture!

Koreans were poor, uneducated, largely illiterate farmers living in squalor prior to the Japanese colonization.  Unwilling to embrace concepts such as modern medicine, plumbing and engines, the absolutely dirt poor Koreans DID have such marvels as rotten (fine, “fermented”) cabbage, wine made from the feces of children (poo wine), architecture ripped off from the Chinese and a bastardized form of Confucianism (more on that in another post).  The Japanese came in and basically built the modern infrastructural foundation of the country, from roads to electrical wires to hospitals to schools.  Later, the Japanese economic model was copied… and by copied I mean that products that Japan was producing were plagiarized by Koreans and sold at an undercutting price due to the virtual slave labor wages at the time… establishing the foundation of “modern” Klown (where the Chinese are now cursed for copying Korean-made goods… oh the irony).  Basically, the parts of the Korean culture that were uniquely Korean – the clothing, the disgusting food, the traditional housing – were just fine.  The language was put at risk.  That is true… but anyone who has listened to a pair of Koreans “konversing” and a pair of Japanese people talking in human tones would have to wonder how much easier on the ears Klown would be if the Japanese had succeeded in replacing the local language with their own.  Korea before Japan? Mud hole. Korea after Japan? Somewhat better organized mud hole.  Is it that simple and cut-and-dry?  No.  Was the way in which the modern infrastructure of Klown established pleasant and morally sound?  No.  Was the “culture” here destroyed?  No.

Japan Has Never Apologized!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_war_apology_statements_issued_by_Japan  Shut the fuck up.

But… but… Comfort Women!

Ah-ha!  Okay, comfort women.  For those that don’t know, “comfort women” were women taken by the Japanese to serve as prostitutes for the soldiers.  Totally disgusting and reprehensible behavior.  Only some sick fucks would institutionalize prostitution on a large scale, right?  Right up there on par with forcing sexual favors in return for a livelihood, or frequenting underage sex workers, right?

As indignant and vocal as Klowns are about comfort women (nearly all of whom are now long dead as are the soldiers who raped them), it is hard, very hard, to sympathize.

In 2003 I read an article in a respected western newspaper that estimated the number of straight-up sex workers in Korea at 600,000+.  I’m going to guess that with kissing rooms, coffee whores and freelancers – not to mention what smartphone apps have done for the industry – that the number is well over a million today.  A million prostitutes!  In a tiny country that nearly no one wants to visit.  These prostitutes serve Korean johns almost exclusively (refusing service to non-Koreans).  They are EVERYWHERE – next to every school, near every family restaurant, along every boulevard.  Government workers, major corporations, SMEs, farmers… they all frequent whores.  It is very much socially accepted.

Forcing young women into sexual servitude is also part and parcel of the Klown entertainment industry.  It is occasionally forced into light by a high profile suicide, but it is generally understood that, if you want to be a professional entertainer, you must first be a professional in other ways.  Klown female entertainers are “sponsored” – for their clothes, [ineffectual] voice lessons and multiple plastic surgeries – by wealthy ajosshi.  This isn’t out of the goodness of the ajosshi’s blackened and cancerous heart.  The men in power in Korea find it a necessary part of life to cram cum down the gullets of young women who just want to sing and dance and act, certainly not find themselves the sperm repositories of the most unattractive men on earth.

Remember the quote above re: the Jeju Uprising? Self-explanatory here.

How about underage prostitutes?  Korean men are notorious as the leading consumer demographic for Southeast Asia’s whoring industry – particularly the underagers. As if having a million whores at home, all dedicated to serving none but the ajosshi, these Klowns still need to take their kimchi stink abroad to befoul some 12-year-old Filipinos.  Yeah, sickos from around the world do this, but the proportional representation by Koreans is telling.

So what’s the point?  Well, Koreans complaining about pressuring (even forcing) women into sexual servitude – and in particular getting all evangelical about abusing women via prostitution in general – is about as hypocritical as me complaining about someone not being culturally sensitive enough… or swearing too fucking frequently.  It’s akin to the recent US indigence over Chinese air pollution.  It’s like the Japanese whinging about disturbing, deviant German porn.

So now we have the world’s largest whoremongers complaining about the Japanese using women as whores – nearly a century ago, in wartime, under an insane dictatorship.  Building statues and staging protests… but why?  They’ll tell you it’s because Japan never apologized (see above).  If you debunk that, they’ll tell you it’s because there was no compensation for the victims. Well, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comfort_women#Apologies_and_compensation. It’s at this point that they’ll get red in the face and start screaming at you about the evils of prostitution… I’ve got $1,000 that says they’re standing less than 500m away from some form of brothel as they scream.

Move on Klown.  More civilized and socially-advanced countries own up to their failures in an effort to promote self-improvement.  In fact, isn’t self-criticism a Confucian tenet?  When you think about nations that still seethe and hiss over atrocities committed against their ancestors by some other national group’s ancestors to the point where healthy and normalized diplomacy is impossible, do you think about developed, first-world nations?  Or do you think about the Balkans?  Certain sub-Saharan African messes? The war-torn Middle East?  If Klown wants to be a first-world country, it’s going to take a lot more than some smartphones and window dressing; it’s going to take an upgrade in socialization from “3-year-old-throwing-tantrum” to “moderately well-adjusted grade 1 student”.