I wasn’t going to touch the story about “nut rage”, but I can’t seem to bring myself to deny long-time reader and all-around temptress, Dolly, who requested something be written.

I wasn’t going to touch the story because, let’s face it, anyone who knows anything about Klown knows that this isn’t news. Not even the scale of it is news. This is your typical, mundane Tuesday afternoon in Klown.

It’s so very fucking traditional.

Let’s do a quick recap:

Prior to the (most recent) Japanese colonization in 1910, Klown was a stinking, festering mud pit of lean-to shanties, teeming with unwashed masses of disease-bearing serfs. It was a dogpile of illiterate, toothless farmers shitting in the same kinds of holes in the ground in which they buried their “food”stuffs. And no, this isn’t hyperbole. A filthy cesspool of ignorance and peasantry.

Today it’s pretty much exactly the fucking same, only with some concrete, electric lights and PVC-clad whores with cosmetically-obtained garden spade chins.

Anywhore, the Japanese came in and industrialized the place. Building amazing and miraculous things that the locals had never imagined, things such as roads, plumbing, hospitals with soap, factories, toilets, power plants… they forcibly dragged the palsy child of Klown out of the feces-smeared cave of 15th century ignorance and into the 20th.

Thanks to the Americans, the Japanese were defeated in WW2 and forced to depart the Korean Peninsula (AKA “Asia’s Gallbladder”). They left behind all the infrastructure they had crafted over the previous 35 years. One can imagine the Klowns, simian like, grunting, pointing and poking with sticks the strange metal and stone remains, perhaps gnawing on the edge of a drill like an infant trying to assess whether a book is or is not edible.

In what might be called in the movie world Planet of the Klowns, preferential access to said infrastructure and factory equipment was given to ideological loyalists, and following a coup, the 60s and 70s saw the rise of the chaebol. A dictator hand-selecting family-owned conglomerates to not only have access to the Japanese-made infrastructure, but also the Japanese and American money that was flooding into the country.

Reparations and grants and loans flooded Klown, but it didn’t find its way to the masses. Some people hit the ghetto lottery, like Klowns who purchased worthless Gangnam real estate before the farmland was paved over and the value skyrocketed. But as a whole, South Korea hit the Cold War Proxy Lottery. Moronically-titled “Miracle on the Han”, there was nothing “miraculous” about it. Tons of unearned funds flooding into the hands of a corrupt government that, instead of improving the lives of the people (who were working in sweatshops for slave labor wages while doing, for free, the jobs civil servants should have been paid to do), gave the money to these Klown korportations in the form of guaranteed, low/no interest loans and kickbacks.

Miracle? The infrastructure was inherited, the money was misappropriated, the designs and methodology were straight up patent infringement, and all this was overlooked by Uncle Sam, who was right in the depths of the Red Scare and couldn’t be bothered trying to parent (great role model). Typically, the chaebol Klowns are all self-congratulatory over their economic success and market dominance though every single aspect of their empire was given to them on a platter, or stolen by them from far more deserving rivals.

From the outset, chaebols have been taught that the average Korean isn’t worth the foul phlegm they decorate every surface with. But who can blame them? This is Klown Kulture. There is no respect. There is no appreciation. There is no loyalty. To a Klown, other Klowns aren’t even human. So when this reptilian bitch, this walking, talking yeast infection, Cho Hyun-Ah, does as Klowns do to each other each and every day, I didn’t even bat an eye.

Par for the fucking course.

The reward for the Saemaeul Undong, Uri Nara generation was a giant ‘fuck you’. Impoverished grannies selling cooch for ten bucks while the big korporations ship jobs overseas and humiliate airline stewards. Korean-made products cost as much as double (or more) here in Korea compared to North America. The ‘thank you’ for delayed social growth, nay, social retardation, to make these chaebol families rich is to grossly overcharge the domestic consumers (over which they have a government-reinforced monopoly) to pad their thin margins as they remain competitive overseas against companies that actually innovate instead of stealing every single idea they have. And as unethical as western corporations (and humans in general when It comes to money and power) are, this just goes beyond in so many other levels. It’s pretty fucking sick.

This is all just one example of the many ways in which Klown is a giant lie.

Uri nara my ass. A bunch of goat-raping, syphilitic, simple-minded vassals, crawling and clawing, backstabbing and nut-raging. “Miracle”. Pft. The only miracle here is that the whole system hasn’t already imploded so dramatically that even the IMF couldn’t bail Klown out.

But that day is coming.

And when it does, anal pustules like Cho Hyun Ah and her ilk will do as so many propaganda-spewing inner party Klowns have done before them, take as much money as they can and emigrate it out of the kuntry. They’ll live their lives in luxury while the whole shithouse goes up in flames. Only the saving grace is that they won’t be throwing nuts in anyone’s face. Oh no. They’d best quickly learn how to shut their shout-talking Klown face holes and look over their shoulders.

Fuck Cho Hyun Ah. Fuck her father. Fuck the chaebol and fuck Klown.

These resource thieves have no value. With any luck, she’ll go off herself in a field somewhere like the Sewol owner. That way at least she’ll fertilize a few plants and help return some of the oxygen she’s stolen away from the rest of us.

15 thoughts on ““Mirakle”

  1. Thank you. Korea’s motto is bend over and take it up the ass without end amen. The spinelessness of Koreans kowtowing to chaebol is just sickening, and not just from the every day people. The judges, prosecutors, ministers, fuck, even the President herself spend all day every day licking the taint of chaebol hoping to help a son or daughter or other family member get some advantage. Korea is nepotism to maximum. I play may part by systematically teaching all Koreans who ask me for English assistance intentionally false information. I try to mislead whenever and wherever possible to systemically undermine whatever chance Koreans have of actually being able to communicate with sentient beings from outside Korea in English.

  2. My dear virile and dazzlingly articulate blogger, I must tell you that something wonderful has happened. It’s a Christmas miracle. The sick satisfaction I got from holding a burning anger for Koreans has evaporated. I don’t and seemingly can’t feel it anymore. It is an act of divine grace, nothing less. I still have a cyber crush on you and value — to the point of being somewhat in awe of — the work you are doing, which is boldly and intelligently giving voice to one aspect of the psyche’s experience when immersed in the impossibly mentally taxing process of adjusting to life in a repressive, perplexing foreign culture. Giving voice to anger, specifically, an act considered threatening and unacceptable in even the more enlightened cultures on our planet. I am learning a lot about anger and what its function is for humans and other life forms as well. All war should be on paper, a wise woman once said, and you give an example of how to release negativity non-destructively. Because it needs to be released, that’s the thing. It absolutely needs to, much to the dismay of the deeply delusional liars who try to ensure the silence of the masses for the sake of sustaining their own delusions (and this is an experience of the psyche too).

    But the thing is I won’t be able to commiserate anymore. But I wanted to say thank you for granting my previous wish!!! I always had a feeling that you must be a generous man. Happy new year ❤ http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mQZeuQBOnnA

  3. An actual klown recently confessed to me a dirty little secret about Korean kulture, or rather the people. In a rare moment of clarity, this ajohssi confessed, in very basic English, that our people (yes I’m Korean but certainly not a klown) have a personality defect of “too much pride.” This excessive pride explains much of how klowns think, feel, act, and speak. Of course, this is a gross generalization and does not apply to all Koreans. The daughter of the ceo of korean airlines is a classic and more extreme example of “too much pride.” Ajohssi also told me that’s why klowns are so easily offended. Everything is about respect and they make it ALL ABOUT THEM. In other words, too much pride makes klown extremely self centered & overly sensitive (a pain in the ass). Even when there is zero intention of showing any disrespect or animosity, klown somehow finds a way to feel that you’ve offended him in a deeply personal way. And that’s when the socially retarded behavior comes out. Thank you ajohssi for clearly verbalizing as well as demonstrating what the hell is wrong with the klown psyche, which I’ve been exposed to and vexed by most of my life.

    Mr. Blogger, I really do understand your pain and being able to relate to your rants made it somewhat more tolerable. However, I finally figured it out… what plagues the Korean psyche? In a word, it’s NARCISSISM. In two words, it’s PRIDE & VANITY. In three, it’s EXCESSIVE PRIDE & VANITY. You used “klownisms” to describe the same set of behaviors. This is what’s causing the incivility & bullying. When you falsely believe that you are the center of the universe, that everything exists for & revolves around you, you simply cannot see past yourself. Everything is somehow about you, even when it isn’t. This explains the social retardation & sense of entitlement. You’re basically delusional but you’ve got things so twisted that you think everyone else is wrong, stupid & ignorant.

    You wanna know what else Mr. Blogger? Narcissism is becoming the new normal here in America. It’s not the America you remember so fondly from a decade ago. They’re calling this the iGeneration (iphone, ipod, ipad) and not just because of all our gadgets. The millenials here are exhibiting many klownish behaviors, also displaying an obnoxious sense of entitlement. There was even a popular book written in 2009 by psychologists called “The Narcissism Epidemic.” Social media is spreading narcissism like wildfire. Indeed its becoming the new normal, the new “cool.” Narcissism is very destructive for individuals, relationships & society. I believe it’s the gateway to all kinds of evil. Afterall, Satan himself was the first narcissist, according to the book of Genesis. He idolized himself, believing he was even greater than God. He then seduced the first humans (according to scripture) to taste the fruit of forbidden knowledge. What exactly was this forbidden knowledge anyway??? I’ll tell you. It’s so obvious. It was narcissism. PRIDE & VANITY WERE SATAN’S GREATEST SINS. Excessive pride & vanity were the twin fires that fueled his lust for power, glory & destruction. It caused his fall from grace & separation from God. Narcissism caused him to devolve into pure evil. When Adam & Eve chose to eat of the forbidden tree, the essence of Satan entered their hearts & minds. That story in the book of Genesis explains how we’re all born afflicted with Satan’s essence and how the ORIGINAL SIN continues to multiply. I think the Original Sin was Narcissism. If you think you’re greater than God, I guess you’re gonna disobey his laws/commandments. I guess if you’re gonna disregard God, you’re gonna disregard everybody else too.

    You see, Mr. Blogger, it’s not just the klowns, it’s all of humanity, past, present & future. We’re all afflicted with the forbidden knowledge, the beautiful lie, that we are greater than God. That one little seductive, intoxicating lie is the seed that multiplies with each generation and bears the fruit of greed, lust, envy, all the deadly sins which result in hate, misery, conflict, wars, and all manner of evil and all leading to our own demise. This is the heart & mind of Satan… and it all started with Narcissism (aka klownism). Peace & blessings to you, Mr. Blogger. Happy new year

    • I’m not going to go into the “people around the world are selfish and narcissistic” stuff because that has already been covered and recovered in past posts. That Chad over in L.A. suffers from entitlementia and inflated self-importance is in no way excusatory to the sadism that happens in Klown.

      I’m also not getting into the ridiculousness of applying the bible to real life. If you want to quote fairy tales, we might as well work with something more entertaining, like Hansel and Gretel. “Was not the original witch’s house made of candy canes?”

      But the pride thing.

      What a steaming load of festering bullshit.

      Pride would indicate that someone’s actions or accomplishments merited congratulation, self or otherwise.

      Pride. What a typical Klown fucking response.

      “Hey Klown, why do Klowns behave like lobotomized, coked-up apes?”

      “Because we are so full of pride”

      Fuck you. Full of shit is more like it.

      Klowns are abusive, filthy, myopic, petty, selfish little fucks. That’s what they need to admit before they can move on to solving any of their problems.

      “Hey Klown, do you think Koreans just have too much pride?”

      “No. We Klowns are just abusive, filthy, myopic, petty, selfish little fucks. We are totally unapologetic for this hard fact.”

      Pride. Fuuuuuuck.

      Let me give you a real world example of Korean pride:

      The men who use the public bathroom in one of the buildings I work at do not flush the toilet after they shit. They leave their stinking, kimchi splatter mess in full view with the door swung wide open. They are peacocking. “Look what I made”, spoken in the voice of Stuart from MAD TV.

      That is Korean pride. The same kind of pride you might get from a severely mentally retarded toddler.

      That Klowns think their abusive, filthy, myopic, petty, selfish behavior is in any, ANY way indicative of pride is proof positive of everything I write about Klowns.

      Fucking Pride.

      Cripsy Christ on a cross..

  4. Recently discovered your blog and found it a nice read. I mean I recently found out that ancient Korean medicine made use of animal shit and even human shit. There brew a human shit wine called ttongsul.

    Takes a real peasant mentality to think that eating or drinking shit could cure illnesses.

  5. ‘Ode to My Father’

    There is controversy in Korea regarding the recent popular film ‘Ode to My Father.’
    A sad, useless dispute

    The film seems designed to wrench tears from the audience, stirring up warm feelings for the the generation of Koreans whose hard work and sacrifices enabled Korea to rise from the ashes of the Korean war into its present status as among the top 15 economies in the world.

    However, questions rightly arise whether it is entirely too premature to be celebrating Korea’s accomplishments.

    To me, it seems especially shameful that the same generation that made the sacrifices celebrated in the movie are treated so badly by their country. Many of Korea’s elderly live in utter poverty and have been abandoned by the same children they worked so hard to raise. Some of Korea’s elderly women are prostituting themselves in Tapgol Park for a just a few dollars a day just to survive.

    Those same elderly who sacrificed so much, might be the same grandparents who lost one of 300 dead kids in the Sewol tragedy of 2014. This same tragedy showcased how absolutely inept and corrupt the Korean government is, and how pervasive collusive ties between Korea’s government and private companies that put meager profits before any remote concern for safety or passenger lives.

    The same grandparents more than likely have at least one or two grand-daughters or great-grand-daughters whoring themselves out in a country with the highest sex workers per capita in Asia.

    Those same grand-daughters, if lucky enough to marry, have the world’s lowest birth rate, because any sane women with an education knows better than to try to raise kids in the hellish environment that Korean kids grow up in.

    How would these grandparents feel about the huge numbers of their descendants who are leaping off bridges, buildings, and using charcoal briquettes to off themselves in some of the largest numbers in the world every year? All those sacrifices and hard work just so their grandchildren can kill themselves because they got a bad score on the college entrance test?

    OR how would they feel about all their descendants cutting up their faces and using plastic to reshape their noses, eyes, lips, chins, etc, and very often dying in the process of pursuing some beauty standard that the elder generation would likely find alien and abhorrent?

    I feel that the present generation of Koreans owes more of an ashamed apology to their grandparents, because I feel quite confident that modern Korea is nothing like the nation those same grandparents worked so hard and made so many sacrifices to create.

  6. Great blog…discovered it yesterday.

    You pretty much say what pisses me off so much about the nut rage story: her being the daughter of the CEO is almost entirely irrelevant. I mean, it probably makes her be 0.0001% more of a bitch than she otherwise would be, but her behavior is just typical Klown power dynamics. She behaves exactly the way every Klown feels entitled to behave to someone younger/lesser than them.

  7. Funny how this desperate ESL loser say negative things about Korea. Sure we have suicide problem because of stressful educational system, the reason is because we’re small country, our people are determined to do better than before. Maybe we will change our educational system in future. As for plastic surgery, many foreigners (especially from China and Japan) come to Korea to do plastic surgery, hence why the plastic surgery rate is very high.

    Your history lesson is hilarious and factitious, like these typical Jap revisionists.

    • Ahhhh! That I can now chuckle at you pathetic, desperate, self-delusional psuedo-nationalist kollostomy bag fuckers from a distance. Feels great.

      First of all, and I mean this sincerely, fuck you, you fucking child-molesting, farm animal raping, 3.8 inch fuckbag. Contract gonorrhea from your next kissbang whore and fucking die. Please.

      Second, the last thing Klown needs is more excuses but yet here you are. With your stammering, idiotic “explanations” that, of course, don’t make any fucking sense. Did you think they were clever when you wrote them? Of course you did you stupid motherfucker. That’s what makes stupid motherfuckers so stupid: you don’t know just how fucking stupid you are. Trying to school me as if you didn’t have the IQ of a goldfish swimming in soju. Bitch, please. Shut the fuck up.

      Third, this “ESL loser” left with a fuckton of money that daddy didn’t give me, so again, and with all due respect (which is exactly none), fuck you in the ass with a kimchi-covered spiked bat.

      Finally, the only desperate revisionist is you and your Klown brethren. The laughing stocks of the civilized world. A kautionary tale to others.

      I’m going back to my clean air and green grass you scum dwelling maggotty fuck. You go back to your torture.

      What a fucking goof.

  8. I’m Korean but don’t really consider myself one because I grew up elsewhere (17 years total), and I can’t even begin to put into words my hate for Korea. But you know what I hate the most? The fact that my skin IS Korean, so people just assume I’m Korean through and through and expect me to conform to all their outdated and ridiculously useless shenanigans.
    I’ve wasted over 4 years of my life here, as well as sacrificing mental health in the form of unwanted and fully predicted PTSD – hence wasting the rest of my life as well I guess hah – and I wish I could take beta blockers or SOMETHING to somehow erase those memories and turn back time.
    I’m just glad there are others who share my point of view about this. Everyone I talk to IRL are either Koreans or Koreaboos who’re too stupid to see truth of things.

    • Being a Klown is kultural, not racial, but yeah, I get you. You haven’t wasted the rest of your life yet. If anything, you can leave Klown with a better understanding of what you don’t want to be in life.

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