Here we go again…

http://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/news/nation/2014/09/116_165458.html

The TL;DL = another ferry accident, same area as the Sewol

I would list the seemingly endless incidents of “Akkidents” (completely avoidable problems that occur because of the arrogant, lazy, greedy, stupid manner in which Klowns conduct themselves in all things) that have occurred this year in Klown, proving that they are not only incompetent but incapable of learning, but there are so many and I don’t have the hours to commit to digging them all up.

The above story just fulfills the prophecy that I made after Sewol that this exact same thing would happen again.

I’m taking bets on when the next major transportation “akkident” will occur.  My money is on under 2 weeks.  You?

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Klusterfuck

This article from the NYT from September 18th relates the tale of how Incheon hopes to become an international hub of commerce and tourism.  I know, I know… you are probably thinking what I was thinking, “I’m reading the Onion, right?” But no, it’s true, this is what the perpetually out of touch with reality Klowns actually envision.

Their avenue to such recognition – parading their stubborn refusal to go though the traditional “build a global city” avenues such as: foster positive international relations, provide high quality products, provide high quality service, giving respect, compromise in order to make foreign visitors feel comfortable, listening to what others want, developing world-class accommodation, serving palatable food, constructing buildings that don’t collapse and have basic first-world amenities, offering solid ROIs, being clean, asking appropriate questions, having scenery, actively learning about the outside world and being trustworthy with money – is the 2014 Asian Games.

The ultimate tradition and future legacy of Klown is the steadfast fucking refusal to learn from others’ mistakes, to ignore precedent both historic and contemporary because “we know best”, and then of course, when they discover that they do not know best, because they are inbred peasants in polyester suits, they engage in IP theft and patent infringement before congratulating themselves with some semi-retarded teenage whores and blended whiskey.

Refuse to Learn, Copy, Self-Congratulate.  It should be the national motto.

With the financial disaster of Athens and the shitshow that was Sochi, a logical person might assume that the organizers of international sporting events here in Klown, particularly with an eye to the 2018 Olympics that were earned fair and square by virtue of having offered the largest bribes and loudest whiny tantrums, would try and take care of the basics.  Of course Korea says to you, Mr. Logical, “Get the fuck out of here with that logic shit!  Haven’t you ever heard of ‘trial and error and error and error’?  What do you mean ‘next trial’?”

Koreans would much rather apologize that to plan.  They would rather hang their head in shame after the fact than to swallow their undeservedly bloated egos to concede that they might need outside advice.  They would rather mutter sorry than to avoid disaster.

My contention is that the Klown ekonomy, already being sustained by government intervention allowing a horrendous debt-to-income ratio to skyrocket towards kollapse once the ridiculous housing market switches (again, lessons that could have been learned in 2008 thought by Klowns ‘not to apply to us, the Chosun Ones’) is going to “go Greek” once the 2018 Games are done (if they make it that far).  Lessons that should have be learned from the late-90s IMF fiasco and international economic crises will remain unlearned.  Klowns seem to have this diseased, moronic fucking idea rattling around in their thick Mongoloid skulls that if they can just get (trick) tourists/potential investors to come to Korea, then proceed to forcibly shove their peasant fucking kulture in their faces, that these visitors will be so impressed, so blown away, so infatuated with Klown that foreign investment money will rain down from the skies and save the nation.  The poor little fucks don’t realize that their food, music, costume and mannerisms are at the butt of disdainful jokes by civilized humans that know about Klowns, and would just be considered garbage by the majority who couldn’t care less about Klown, should the screaming pride parade of Klown bullshit get their attention.

Poor delusional fucking Klowns.

Well, we Americans are probably to blame for that, having letting Klown suckle off the American monetary teat for so long, the Klowns now just assume that every developed nation is going to want to throw money at them (despite their disgustingly unethical treatment of others on the international stage at every level).  These Klown fucks, who should be shoveling shit out of the corners of styes and picking insect-flecked cabbages by hand rather than negotiating international contracts are just so used to getting bailed out, gifted what they need and forgiven their trespasses have been conditioned to assume the same will continue forever.  With Cold War priorities and Pappy America’s relative power base shifting, I imagine the next time the Klowns fuck everything up (and they will, obviously), the safety net might not be there.

At any rate, Klown will go “all in” on the Olympics with the expectation that there will be another bail out ready if they fail.  Of course, Klowns think themselves incapable of failure despite repeated proof to the contrary, so billions will be spent, billions more bribed and pocketed and “disappeared” and what will be the result?

I think we all know the answer to that.  I know I’ve previously mentioned my expectation that Pyeongchang will make Sochi look like the most professionally-managed event in human history.  But why don’t we have a look at the 2014 Asian Games, a giant, $2 billion squat toilet of fuck ups, for an indication?

I’m no fan of the Marmot’s Hole.  It’s a den of gyopo apologist self-fellating sycophants who front blind nationalistic loyalty despite having been raised abroad by money their parents couldn’t wait to emmigrate out of this shit-smear kuntry.  Commenters critical of Klown are routinely censored…. which is why when I saw this partial (games aren’t done for another week) list of kollosal fuck ups by the Klowns at the Asiad listed on Marmot’s, I was as shocked as I am when a Klown lines up properly or manages to properly use turn signals in traffic or washes his hands after taking a shit (let alone flushing).  There are more fuck ups daily, but the 26-item list compiled by a Marmot reader is as such:

A clusterfuck.

1.Stadiums getting blackouts
2. Athlete’s lunch boxes found with salmonella
3. Volunteers asking for athletes signatures and making them late to their events – because they got 1 hour of training 1 week before the Games started.
4. 20% of interpreters quitting (because they had to pay for their own transport to and from the Games),
5. Athletes’ rooms not having fans or A/C,
6. Athletes’ rooms crammed with three beds and cramming athletes in them because they don’t have enough rooms
7. No mosquito screens for the rooms, subpar quality food for the athletes – partially caused by the fact that the majority of the cooks are college kids majoring in food science
8. Beach volleyball site doesn’t have changing rooms
9. Badminton stadium has A/C with strong wind that got the complaints of all athletes including Korean ones
10. Thailand baseball team had to practice in the dark because the lights weren’t on
11. Archery field was so shitty the Korean Archery association used their own funds to have the field meet the standards (including a whole new display)
12. The shooting field lacked lockers and seats for the athletes (forcing them to sit on the stairs with their stuff)
13. Plumbing trouble leaks urine at various stadium
14. The weightlifting stadium lacked curtains or other covers for the changing room – everyone saw the athletes change.
15. The Sepak Takraw (check it out, btw. It’s pretty epic) stadium leaked rainwater mid-event and the event was delayed for 20 minutes
16. No one informed the teams that the official basketball brand changed.
17. Critical shortage of medical staff at the basketball games, forcing the team trainers and other athletes to play doctor.
18. Organizers didn’t tell a Chinese fencer (A bronze medalist) that the shuttle bus stations changed locations. A Korean journalist had to give him a ride on the taxi, and the Organizers chastised the fencer for not getting on the earlier shuttles afterwards.
19. Organizers converted the Disabled Parking spots to VIP parking spots that can be bough at a fee. Yeah.
20. The broadcasters are not covering the events well – even the ones that Koreans would be interested in watching like badminton. The Koreans had to watch the badminton final using a Chinese TV station online.
21. Organizers selling most of the tickets to popular events to Chaebols, who of course doesn’t use them = empty stadiums even in events that are popular (baseball, basketball, etc)
22. It’s nice that the organizers had the ticket pre-sale available online with multiple languages. Too bad you need either a Korean ID number or foreigner registration number to buy one. Oh, and a Korean credit card. (Nice one, guys. Learn that move from Naver/Daum?)
23. The official Incheon Asian Games website was down until September 24th.
24. A shuttle bus driver, because he thought it was too bothersome to go through the entire route, decided to just skip the Field Hockey site (귀찮으니까…). What the fuck.
25. Organizers (read: Incheon city government) are forcing all school field trips in the city to go to the events because they have trouble keeping the seats filled (caused by the previous mentioned reasons.
26. Shuttle bus in general are either in critical shortage or arbitrarily changing/cancelling service. Disturbing amount of journalists/athletes are relying on taxis… except that the taxi drivers have no idea what any of the venues/buildings are.

And, of course, when the journalists asked the Organizers about these clusterfucks, the Organizers got into a verbal altercations with the journalists. Then they tried to issue a gag order on any articles critical of the Games. Then they flatly denied issuing any gag orders… to the journalists that they personally gave gag orders to [Klassik].

A clusterfuck.

I personally couldn’t give less of a kimchi fuck about the Asian games.  I think it is safe to assume that the Klowns will cheat their way into an undeservedly high number of medals.  I think it is even safer to say that anyone fool enough to have spend money to travel to Korea and stay here as a tourist will never, ever be returning (there was a recent story on this but I cant find the link via Google since the rest of the world doesn’t give a shit about Klown).  The only reason I would watch Asiad highlights would be to watch the Klowns lose.  Few things give me greater joy than to watch Klowns lose at international sports – the melodramatic finger pointing and blame avoidance, and the occasional full-on toddler tantrum.

(edit)

I was sent this gem from the Klown Times, which is an thoroughly entertaining plea for Klowns to deomonstrate some basic fucking level of fundamental human manners.  Of course Klowns are utterly incapable of modern homo sapiens sapiens manners, so this particular plea from a Korean who has been abroad and seen that the rest of the world isn’t devoid of all human decency and class falls of deaf ears. A portion of the story reads as follows:

At the kickoff of the Korea-Japan quarterfinal soccer match, few Korean fans bothered to stand up when the opposing team’s national anthem was played.

A plea was repeatedly made through the public announcement system for the fans to stand up when the anthems were played at Munhak Stadium….

It also marked a contrast to a group of Japanese fans remaining on their feet while the Korean national anthem was played after theirs was over….

The organizers appear to be partially to blame because some fans [the Korean ones] were ignorant [no fucking shit] of the “rule of respect. [what the fuck is ‘lee-suh-pay-ku-tuh?]”…

Making matters worse were some fans munching on snacks and shouting into their smartphones while the anthems were played.

Similar instances of ignorance were also observed during tennis matches.

On Friday, when the round of 16 men’s singles tennis competition was held at the Yeorumul Tennis Courts, some fans misbehaved.

Some went for snacks or tried to find their seats when the ball was in play.

Mobile phones constantly rang and strident cheering continued, forcing the umpire to ask for the spectators’ silence.

Oh you drooling, flailing, nose-mining social retards.  You embarrassments to the species. You Klowns.  Every time you let the international community see you for what you really are, they throw up in their mouths a little and turn away, repulsed to think that someone actually gave these fools money and opportunity.

The question isn’t whether Korea will fuck up the Olympics (and every other major international responsibility given), the question is why the rest of the world keeps extending any amount of trust or faith to the Klowns.  At least they haven’t killed a hundred tourists with a sunken ferry or derailed train or helicopter crash… but give them time. There is still a week left.

Lokomotion

Everybody’s doing a brand new dance, yeah

(Come on baby, do the lokomotion)

The Klowns are gonna kill you if you give them a chance, yeah

(Come on Klownies, do the lokomotion)

Your driver’s license came as a cereal box prize

You walk and bicycle like someone gouged out your eyes

So come on, come on, do the lokomotion Klownies

A law needs to be passed.

A law that bans Klowns from owning, operating, touching or even looking too long at any object that has wheels.  I’ll extend that to any object that has wheels or an engine of any sort.

There’s a reason why the movie wasn’t called The Fast and the Furious: Seoul Drift.. i can just imagine the screenplay:

(Exterior – Parking Lot: Our main character, Kim Kil Smash, glances around with a vacant, imbecile stare.  He pulls an “Esse Slim” cigarette from his pocket – yes, the kind usually associated with 50s-era women – and a mirror from the other pocket.  Kim applies some more mascara and eye-liner while simultaneously puffing his girly cigarette and dribble spitting.  In short, he looks as cool as a Korean man can possibly look in Klown Kulture.  His Urkel-esque, far-too-tight pants hitch halfway up his undeveloped, 12-year-old-girl’s calf as he opens the door of his white Kia K5.  As his dainty fingers grip the plastic of his Moshi Maru steering wheel wrap, he tries to flex a non-existent arm muscle – skin quivers against bone.  The engine starts with a tinny whine.  In the background, a carbon copy K-pop song comes on.  Kim opens the door of his K5 one more time to dribble spit on the ground.  Throwing his automatic car into reverse, the camera makes a quick cut to see Kim’s bumper dent and scratch the bumpers of both the Ssangyong Korando C beside him and the Hyundai i30 behind him.  Plastic smooshes against plastic.  Inside the cabin of the K5, proximity warning sensors blare and are summarily ignored.  Slamming the K5 into “D”, Kim peels out of the parking lot and onto the highway where he immediately loses control despite bone-dry conditions, slides across 5 lanes of traffic, into a concrete barrier, rolling his car over.  As the car continues to roll over the edge of the highway and down a cliff, the camera moves to the cabin of the K5 once more.  Small objects such as tubes of BB Cream, cards advertising escorts, baby-sized condoms, oversized brand name sunglasses, sparkle lip gloss and monistat fly around as if weightless.  The camera cuts to a close up of Kim’s confused, moronic expression.  The camera cuts back as the car explodes into a ball of flame.  Ejected from the car is one purple, leopard print Adidas Originals sneaker, size 7.  The camera holds on a shot of the sneaker smoking on the trash-strewn highway…) ((Roll credits))

How can an ethnic group that has spawned world champion sharpshooters and archers be so utterly, completely fucking clueless when it comes to any sort of movement by any means in any 3-dimensional space? 

I mean holy fucking sacred cow shit!  You can solve complex math problems using x,y,z graphs but can’t push a fucking shopping cart in a fucking straight line… forget parking your fucking car, I’m talking one goddamned foot in front of the other.

I am quite literally amazed that gyms here have treadmills.  I would have thought that the concept of conveyor belt locomotion would prove so difficult, so impossible for the Klown CNS that bodies would have been flying willy-nilly through the air – an arm knocking out the ajumma on the thigh machine, a leg nearly decapitating the old man doing odd “exercises” with the pink dumbbells.

Hey Klown, unless you long to be Japanese (we all know you do), walk on the fucking right!  Do it you fucking mouth-breather! 

Hey Klown, the entire fucking world is not your fucking parking lot you narcissistic, hypocritical, self-fellating fucktwat.  Move your fucking Costco cart to the side of the fucking aisle before I lift it over my head and use it to bash your fucking brains into a gooey, kimchi-stink mess all over the fucking floor where the brats you let run screaming and taekwondo-ing through every fucking public space can fly down the aisle like it was a fucking Slip-n-Slide. 

Hey Klown! Park your car like it wasn’t your first time driving so I don’t need to smash the window, hotwire your shitty fucking Klown Kar and use it to drive over you just to keep you off the roads where you will one day kill me. 

What’s that Klown? Oh, you like that shiny something in the store window over there, mesmerized by its sparkle and promise of status-uh?  Why don’t you move your pig farmer ass to the side of the sidewalk like a normal fucking human being would do to stare at it in amazement rather than pulling up to a dead stop in the middle of this veal sty city? 

Hey Klown, I know bicycling is hard to manage, what with the spinny roundy things, so why don’t you stay the fuck home rather than endanger everyone on the narrow path with your stupefying ineptitude?

In an urban center of some 20 million, one would think that the human capacity for adaptation would dictate that people’s skills at moving themselves from Point A to Point K would improve out of simple necessity.  But no.  Not in Klown.  In violation of all common sense and logic, Klowns have gone in the exact opposite direction, instead choosing to showcase how incapable they are of doing anything other than copy.  And why?  Well because Klown Kulture is a sado-masochistic, passive-aggressive shitshow of human misery (or Han).  A place where happiness and human decency go to die… and more than a few motorists as well.