I forgot about this one since it was a bit old. Genius commenter “Jenny” reminded me of it….
Original comment from “Curious”:
Actually, I’m sure the Korean authorities – cybercrime, if not Korean intelligence, even – would be very interested in taking a look at this blog~ That’s if, they haven’t already. I would if I were them, take a look, that is, and all it would then take is a phone call, or two, to find out who this guy really is.
Of that, I’m sure..
They might want to know who this guy really is simply because of the fact that he is – probably – in a classroom somewhere ‘teaching’ Korean children. (Rather than, say, them just taking a dislike to what’s written; which, in itself, is offensive enough, even if one isn’t Korean. But, I’m sure they’re more professional than that.)
I’m reminded of the tone of that angry Aussie – or is he a Kiwi? (eek! God forbid!) – who cruises around looking for, and filming, examples of bad driving, and then posts it up on YouTube!! Check him out, he even uses profanity in front of his kids; who are in the car with him. Nicely simmering in Daddy’s anger~ Oof! And it’s not nice, Daddy’s anger, I can assure you of that.
Guys, it’s the same in any country! If you run with the bottom dogs, you’re only gonna get three outcomes: Paws, Claws and Assholes..
Live a little! Use the higher functions, and drop the hate. The stuff that’s being posted here is just plain nasty to the extreme, no matter what kind of ‘Korean experiences’ you guys have had!
To which I replied:
So let me get this straight. You think that the Korean legal authorities, specifically Korean “Intelligence” and cybercrimes should make my blog a priority. I mean, because obviously and first of all, fuck freedom of speech, am I right? But seriously, rather than doing things like bringing safety standards up to early-20th century levels, vetting transportation systems and parts providers for things like subways and nuclear power plants, rather than ensuring that bare minimum building codes are adhered to to prevent roof collapses, rather than stem the flow of bribes that guarantee lack standards and near-zero prosecution for offenders, rather than trying to stop the rampant child sex trafficking, rather than trying to reduce global-high suicide rates, rather than getting even one city street free of garbage and food remains, rather than trying to reduce TB rates to levels lower than impoverished third-world holes, rather than dealing effectively with the Norks to ensure the safety of their civilians… the Korean authorities should divert manpower, thought and resources to MY BLOG, because there is nothing, and I MEAN NOTHING more important than making sure that Western pieces of shit (to whom they owe the very fact that they do not live in Stalinist prison camps or under Japanese rule today) never, EVER reveal that Korea is not a first-world tourist magnet. My meaningless commentary on the social failures of a country dripping with social failure (the fixing of which is far less a priority than stopping AIDS-riddled foreigners from talking about it is) is clearly, obviously something that needs looking into. I mean, fuck it, let’s just grind the entire government to a halt, petition wordpress through the courts to reveal my gmail address to trace back to either the neighbor’s unsecured wifi I piggyback on or the local coffee shop, pull CCTV feeds and put up posters to find ME… and charge me with… “being an asshole”?
You sir, are a natural born Klown. That is exactly the kind of head-in-sphincter logiK that I talk about here. You should be the head of some Klown government office, or a Klown newspaper or principal of a public school. Your complete willingness to ignore actual problems to focus angrily on annoyances and malcontents is Klown-spiring. Never mind that there are no rights being violated here, or laws broken, but just the fact that I would dare criticize Kim Jong Eun… oh shit, sorry, thought I was in North Korea for a moment… I mean the Klown way of life completely justifies violating my rights and breaking laws. Bravo sir, bravo. You are a Klown amongst Klowns. A leader of the pig-folk.
“Of that I’m sure…”
As for teaching kids… Even if I were at my most critical in front of my students I promise you they would still be far better of than with most of the ajosshi scum that work in my school. These Klowns make shit up regularly because they have no knowledge. They pollute their students in a million different ways, and they lack any ability to be self-critical. At least they get from me what a student should always get from a teacher – the truth. Besides, if my public school gig was cancelled (which they might do as a kontract in this country is more valuable as toilet paper than as a legal document), there would be plenty of other places more than willing to hire me… I mean sure I have experience and I’m pretty good at what I do, but I have a white face, and that is 99% of what any prospective Klown employer sees: white, not too old, not fat, no weird piercings = hired.. because that is the level of respect that Klown schools give to their students. They couldn’t give less of a fuck about the quality of education the kids are receiving just so long as they are attending and paying tuition or afterschool fees. But no, obviously you;re right, I’M the bad guy. Klown logiK bests me again.
The YouTube driving videos… well, that isn’t me in the vids, sorry to disappoint, but I have watched them. I can’t say I’m a big fan of the profanity in front of the kids… but I’m wondering why THAT was your main takeaway from those videos? Klowns are repeatedly trying to kill him and his children in the videos and what you focus on are the swear words he uses when his life is put at risk by someone the Klown authorities couldn’t possibly be bothered to train or clear as a safe driver (too busy tracking down expat bloggers no doubt)?
As for hate, hate is a justifiable and valid human emotion, particularly when someone or something is bad and deserves that hate. Hate is a derivative of fear. The things that I hate are the things I fear will either kill me (horrible drivers, sinking ferries, collapsing roofs, unsafe medicines, communicable diseases etc) or ruin me in other ways (going deaf, violation of employment contracts, rancid filth on every sidewalk and every street every single place I go etc).
But obviously you raging against hateful people is more than a little bit hypocritical, wouldn’t you say?
I mean, you go out to expat blogs that are angry and venting at the multiple violations of human decency that surround them, then you get angry and vent at them. So telling my readers to “use the higher functions and drop the hate” is disingenuous and lacking (in true Klown fashion) any and all self-awareness.
You are either:
(a) a Korean gyopo/returnee (I’d say the latter based on your repetitive and awkward use of the the same “of that I’m sure” expression) who felt culturally alienated and misplaced while in the west and who has returned to Korea with eyes on a fresh, non-social-outcast future. That Klowns are impressed by the sideshow-like novelty of your time abroad for 5 minutes and that girls might actually not look away in disgust the minute you approach has encouraged you to become Kaptain Han, Defender of True Korea. You either teach English (welcome to the Klub) or work at some relative’s kompany getting paid to play smartphone games all day (must be nice). You can’t fucking stand that anyone, especially some fucking gojang-ii, would ruin this deluded image you’ve painted over the reality before you because this place is your last hope….
(b) a non-Korean Koreaboo kunt. While Klown is a shithole with more social holes to patch than a pasta strainer, you don’t feel like the complete and utter loser you were back home. To show appreciation for this kuntry and its people that are so willing to overlook your glaring shortcomings so long as you bow and say something nice about Korea and eat their peasant food with a grin, you must attack anyone who might rip off the rose-colored glasses. You’ve likely wasted hundreds of hours learning Korean to a level where you are basically a party favor, pulled out to entertain but never taken seriously. You probably make about the same salary I do, but you think you’re special and successful. Some curious K-girl let you feel her up one time and now you’ve got it in your head that you’re the shit.
If you really love this country, GO FUCKING FIX IT. That you are spending your time scrounging the internet, listing off Korean-unfriendly blogs on Marmot’s Hole or rokdrop instead of identifying and suggesting solutions for problems plaguing Korea proves that you do not have any love for this country, you just have a love of being a fucking asshole. And I can understand being an asshole. The difference between you and me is that I’m not trying to claim to be anything else. I’m an asshole, and that’s that. You, on the other hand, are a self-deluding, hypocritical asshole who hasn’t yet come to terms with your assholery. Come out of the closet asshole. Embrace your true self. Stop hiding behind this Defender of the Han bullshit and come to terms with the fact that you are hateful fuck and that that hate is fueled by fear – fear that someone is going to burst the little bubble you have protecting yourself from the reality of Klown.”
I really wanted to write something about Korean weddings or the boundary issues Klowns seem to suffer from, but just haven’t had the time. And for those of you waiting for the “Kaucasian Klowns” post, I’m sorry you’ll just have to keep waiting as that one can’t just be fired off simply.
Try not to slip in some food garbage or phlegm. Try not to get run over by a black sedan, taxi or bus. Try not to lose your cool and choke a fucking ajosshi until his filthy fucking peasant face turns purple and he at long last stop shouting and spitting. Maintain that Zen. If you need help, start a vent blog.