Symbolism, Iconism, Klownism

The human brain is a fragile thing.  It is a complex organ in which everything must be in a state of delicate balance.  Even a slight variation in the corpus callosum can produce an Einstein.  A deficiency in one neurotransmitter or another, caused naturally or as a result of external influences, can completely alter a person.  In the civilized world, where due respect is paid to modern medicine and the millions of hours invested by thousands of brilliant minds over the centuries in pursuit of more refined medical knowledge, medical treatments for chemical imbalances in the brain are employed as well-researched, well-vetted treatments for ailments of the most important, most sensitive of human organs.  In progressive, intelligent societies, much of what may have been termed “crazy” back in the era of Stoker-esque asylums is now a diagnosable, treatable “imbalance”.  In fact, now a century deep into modern behavioral and psychological sciences, the modern world has come to accept, dispel the myths of and even popularize the treatment of “maladies of the mind”.  This is not to say that our species has overcome the challenge of mental illness, or even that we have some close to understanding the brain in its entirety, but the progressive have embraced and come to respect the science.

And then there is Klown.

Klown understanding of modern medicine is… sketchy at best.  A huge variety of ailments are still treated with “traditional” techniques.  When I say “traditional”, I mean medieval.  I imagine that if Klown “doctors” could somehow connect blood-letting and leeches to “traditional kulture”, they’d have the blind nationalist Klown zombies lining up by the hundreds.  I’d mention vomitoriums, but that is already a big part of Klown kulture as evidenced by only every street on every city in the country.  The attitude of deliberate ignorance… that “Klown Knows Best”.

Now, I can’t be sure sometimes (most of the time) if Klownisms are the result of Klown Kulture or diagnosable psychological ailments.  Having searched the DSM-V front to back several times, I have found no listings for Klownophrenia, Klowntism or Klownentia… but damn it if it isn’t hard to distinguish the two sometimes.  Letting delicate human minds swim around in the radioactive, poisonous waters of the Klown Kulture Oceean without [private, non-publicized] access to (or even acceptance of) medical treatments for all things mental is as bad as putting guns in the hands of inbred, borderline retarded American hicks… maybe even worse given the disgusting population density of a place like Seoul compared to the wide-open, cousin-marrying spaces of redneck territory (not to mention the abundance of wildlife to shoot at versus the virtual extinction of all animals save mosquitoes, cockroaches, pigeons and stray cats… I mean shit, I think I’m hallucinating if I even see a squirrel here).  One has to wonder how many lives could be spared with a bit of sertraline, olanzapine or (klow)nazepam, or even some good old-fashioned counselling that didn’t include telling the sufferer they were too fat, should have a shot of soju, needed to eat some bottom-dwelling sea scum or that they should just see a whore.

In 2008, a Klown set fire to “Korean Cultural Treasure Number 1” in true Klowny dramatic, dignity-less fashion with some paint thinner and some cheap Klown lighters.  How “National Treasure Number 1”, located right in the heart of the city where important places like City Hall are, an area constantly full of “police”, was left so vulnerable at 8:50pm on a weekend is another story.  One imagines the dozens of Klown tourists that must have been stepping over Arsonist Chae as he squirted bottle after bottle all over the the columns and floors, averting their eyes and bowing their heads, unable to question the obvious authority granted Chae by virtue of his white hair.

Apparently, Chae was ripped off and cheated somehow (surprise sur-fucking-prise) by some Klown land developers.  According to Chae, he was angry at the government for backing the Korrupt developers (surprise sur-fucking-prise).  He had already served 18 months for arson at another Kultural heritage site.  It seems he really didn’t make any secret of his desire to see Klown burn, and he was high on up the Klowny ladder of prestig-ee.

The Namdaemun gate fiasco is noteworthy among other Klownisms (of which there are a seemingly unending supply) because of its symbolism.  Here we have ol’ silver-haired Chae, given some powdered weeds and acupuncture instead of actual medicine, several times over abandoned by the kulture that klaims to respect age.  I guess in the translation from Korean into “respect”, something is lost.  Further, in testament to the nation that tells the world, and itself, repeatedly, how war-ready and secure against attack it is, we have ol’ hyung-nim Chae spritzing accelerant all over the most important national kultural treasure, in an area swarming with conscript “soldiers” and “police”, surrounded by Klowns of all sorts, everyone “understanding his situation”.  Heads buried deep as kimchi jars in the dirt.  Imagine if Chae were a Nork covert asset (assuming the Norks were any better able to remove their craniums from their sphincters than their southern “brothers” are).  Holy shit.  Sleep safely Korea.

All under the original symbol of Korea.  Whatever Korea claims to stand for – culturally and traditionally – surely the Namdaemun gate must be considered the primary symbol thereof.  Though markedly less-refined, it is the Champs d’Elysees of Seoul, the Statue of Liberty of Korea.  It is Korean culture inkarnate.

The restoration of the gate was a huge issue.  It wasn’t just a rebuild, no, it was so important, so symbolic, so much a reflection of the heart and mind and soul and values of the Korean people and their culture, that it was to be rebuilt, by hand, using only the techniques and materials employed by the original builders of the gate centuries earlier.  This was billed (heavily) as a source of immense national pride.  A testament to the resolution and dedication of the Korean people.  A show of how much solidarity united the people of the Han in times of need. 

It is important to hammer home this point.  This was no mere construction project.  This was not a repainting of some castle somewhere in the countryside mentioned once on a highschool history exam.  No.  This was to be the project that would exemplify exactly what the Korean people were all about – how much their culture meant to them, how important it was to protect and preserve it, how responsible they were about righting wrongs, how awesome and beautiful traditional Korean culture was… in short this project would show Koreans how much their leaders respected them and would show the world how proud and beautifully indefatigable the traditions of Korea were.

No spoilers now.  Can you guess what happened?  Can ya?  C’mon, just speculate a second before scrolling on.  What have you been hearing about here?

You can read about it in detail here and here, but the basics are that the project was complete corruption and corner-cutting, and now we’re on to the great Klown traditional sport, passing the buck/blame game.  There was essentially no oversight on the project.  This massively important, expensive, symbolic, five year project was done blind, both literally (behind a sheet metal enclosure despite trumpeting the virtues of the the traditional methods being used – that nobody could see) and, well, literally, as this project was obviously not important enough to monitor, just as the last gate hadn’t been important enough to protect (but monitoring foreigners for AIDS, much more critical).

Moreover, the “traditional methods” were, of course, immediately abandoned once the Klown workers realized that it was hard to do, and once a cheaper (both in terms of quality and price) alternative was found.  Of course, less than a year later, the paint is peeling…. and this is just the first thing we’re hearing of.  How long before the entire thing collapses I wonder?

The “master Korean artisan” in charge, who is no doubt some Klown politicians idiot, FAS-suffering nephew, embezzled some 300 grand out of the project just by using cheap materials.  He was hired despite having no experience in any traditional restoration work, then given the kompany kredit kard, so to speak, much in the manner that Klown Korporation employees the kuntry over use their korporate kards for whiskey and group blowjobs from some of the hundreds of thousands of whores working in Klown.  The precedent is certainly there.  Now the blame game begins as federal blames local blames tax office blames KFDA blames Sewol third mate blames father blames stressful life until the public forgets about it and everyone involved behind the scenes gets a payout.

Symbolism.  Iconism.  Klownism.

What exactly can one conclude and learn about Korea and Korean culture from this?  This was supposed to be the symbol that would represent not just Korean culture, but the people who followed it and what they believed in.  Now, once again, the apologists and other Klowns will ask the rest of us to pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.  We will angrily be told that mistakes happen everywhere.  We will be told that, while embarrassing, this cannot be held to represent the Korean people, their values, ethical standards and traditions.  But that is exactly what “Korean Cultural Treasure Number 1” exists to do!

I’m told by Klowns and their “Bring out the Gimp” zipper-clad adorers the same boring, moronic things time after time in response to what I write here.

First I’m told that bad things happen all over the world, and that anyone can find social failures in any culture.  Yes.  That is, for the most part, true.  Human nature is far from perfect, and as effective as some cultures are in guiding humans toward civilized behavior, none are perfect.  It isn’t a debate or discussion about social failures around the world. Egypt is in the process of demolishing itself, but this isn’t a blog about Egypt and why would any Klown want to compare Korea to today’s Egypt?  Russia has a major issue with organized crime, but Korea isn’t exactly coming off a massive economic routing and left with no friends.  China has failures too, but the Koreans are fond of disparaging “Dirty China”, so I doubt they’d welcome the comparison. My home country has some serious problems – drug-addiction, gun violence and poor public education are some – but this isn’t a blog about the US of A.  This is a blog about Klown.

And speaking of the US of A, why are they so oft-hated internationally?  Despite ‘saving the western world’ several times over from political ideologies that would see us all worshiping a Kim-like leader, it’s probably because Americans can’t stop telling everyone around the world how great they are while they can’t fix their domestic problems.  At least the problems are acknowledged, discussed and attacked – being self-critical and proactive are about the only things that will save the American “empire”.  But those same Klowns hating on the US are probably the same ones cheering for Ddokdo ads in Times Square.  Why do I hate Klown so much?  Probably because Klown is incapable of hating itself enough to the stop telling everyone how flawless it is.  Probably because the more Klown fails, the louder it shouts about its infallibility.  When a problem with a society develops, pointing the finger at other societies and screaming “they’re worse” solves nothing and annoys everyone.  That black-hat/white-hat, blame the Soviets/blame the Muslims idiocy hasn’t worked for the States, so if you’re an America-critical Klown, maybe stop a moment and think on the meaning of the word “hypocrite”.  I’m an American, but I acknowledge the failures of my country.  I don’t seek to obfuscate them as if I were some kind of Holocaust denier.  Get a fucking klue, Klown.

Also, I’m usually told that I “don’t understand Korean culture”.  I think I have a whole post dedicated to the “please understand my culture” mantra, but I’ll delve into this once more briefly.  I’ve lived here 8 years.  I’ve worked my ass off while here, initially trying to see value in more than just my bank balance, but abandoning that futility, still in the trenches today, dealing with Korea and Koreans on a number of different levels.  To “understand a culture” doesn’t really require more than what I’ve already done.  You don’t need to have a Masters in Kulture from Klown “University”, you don’t need to read a hundred books on history, you don’t need to be fluent in Korean, you don’t need to BE Korean.  You just need to live it, pay attention to it and have at least two brain cells to rub together.  It really doesn’t matter how many Sewols or Namdaemuns or Asiana 214s or Jang Ja-Yeons are explained (quite appropriately) by Klown Kulture (or garbage piles or scream-talkers for that matter), true Klowns will always pull the “you don’t understand” card because, in reality, they don’t understand.  Perhaps, one day, like North Korean escapees who finally come clear of the fog of brainwashing and reject the divine explanation of Dear Leader, these Klowns will come to understand that, yes, Klown Kulture is deeply fucked up and that an admission of that is the first step towards changing it.

In the meantime (and don’t hold your breath), I can tell you that it doesn’t really take much to understand Klown Kulture.  Klowns like to imagine that it is so intricate and nuanced that it cannot possibly be understood, merely experienced and appreciated.  For fuck’s sake, get a fucking grip.  This is a kulture born of peasant farmers who were, until very, very, very recently literally wallowing in the mud and living like medieval serfs.  Beautiful, complex, interesting, insightful, progressive cultures have a way of becoming meaningful and respected around the world organically, because (unlike the way Klowns assume anyone not in love with Klown must be) intelligent people can figure shit out like “hey, I like the way they do that, it works well and makes life better”.  These meaningful, influential cultures, as one commenter on another post put it, “don’t need to be sold”.  Klowns would know this if they weren’t so weak-minded and propaganda-sensitive, but as I said at the beginning, the human mind in a fragile thing.

Klown, shut your mouth, turn off the k-pop video, stop fucking bowing, sober the fuck up and just use those 5 senses of yours.  Use that fragile brain.  See the threadbare tapestry of Klown Kulture stretching the last strings out toward snapping.  This is a kulture now quite literally exemplified by incompetence, corruption, willful ignorance and complete disdain for the general public.  Now go ahead, salute that national treasure and tell me again about how wonderful this country’s culture is…


clown salute



25 thoughts on “Symbolism, Iconism, Klownism

  1. Proud to have brought this to your attention and inspired another worthwhile read.
    You do get the sense though, through other internet venues, that Koreans of the young adult demographic are feeling a great sense of international shame over what they consider one national embarrassment after another. The irony is that the rest of the world really doesn’t give a fuck.

    • Shame of one kind usually leads to behavior modification or at least recognition of failures… Shame of another is just the indignance of being found out. In Klown Kulture, the most egregious social faux pas being committed here is that someone had the audacity to point out the (monthly/weekly) major fuckups…

  2. No one wants to hear your hateful, racist, incoherent tantrums so quit spamming your shitty blog everywhere and either go back to your home country, stop spamming or kill yourself, whichever comes first.

    • More hypocrisy. For someone claiming to be upset by hateful writing, you certainly pen a very hateful comment. I don’t think I’ve ever told somebody to outright kill themselves on this blog before, but you have taken it to another level. Kongratulations.

      As I have said before, and I will mention it again now: I do not post the links to this blog on external sites – not the Korean Times, not Facebook, not Dave’s, not reddit… nowhere. Anybody spamming this blog’s address is doing so without my behest or knowledge. People spamming their blogs are annoying as fuck and I wouldn’t do it with my own.

      Now please fuck the fuck off and don’t come back to my blog again. Tell your Klown friends not to visit here either. Why you would come and read a blog that would deliberately upset you, something outside your spectrum of interests (which I assume learning Korean, drinking soju, singing karaoke and getting laughed at by Klown and expat alike behind your back), with no discernible motivation behind it other than to perpetuate your own suffering (and hate) seems masochistic.

      Again, fuck off.

    • Hey! I want to read more.
      If you want be a Klown defender why not being better then “Klownisms” and refute him. Even better ignore him like he wants you too.. Whoops I forgot that would require being logical and level headed. Klowns are not known for being that and being more emotional. Why talk something out when you can scream and threaten at a person. I mean everytime I start talking about Dokdo it ends up with the Klown getting all riled up even if I do say it is Korea’s.

      • Well you pretty much nailed it there. Klowns lack logical thought processes, which are necessary for real debate.

        There are some Klowns, usually the Caucasian/gyopo ones like those over at Daves/waygook, who really and truly believe that they are engaging in online debate (and “winning”) by jumping ship to some emotional-trigger side topic every time the onus on providing actual examples and logic falls to them.

        Klowns are utterly un-self-aware. Being that there is no self-awareness, there can be no self-improvement.

        I’m an asshole. I am aware of this. I let my rage and upset control my words. I would make a terrible, horrible diplomat. I lack the ability to swallow other people’s bullshit with a smile. I would make a terrible politician. I would not make a good counselor, or hippy. I am not good at basketball. My waistline is a few inches too large. I am a shitty trumpet player. I cannot talk intelligently about abstract art, or Indian politics, or soccer, or a great number of other topics. This is being self-aware. Klowns and Klown apologists are not self-aware. They fancy themselves authorities on every subject, and they don’t feel the burden of proof to claim their statements. If I say, for example, “Klowns spit all over everything”, I’m happy to go out with a camera and photograph multiple examples of surfaces covered in spit within a 20 m square area pretty much anywhere in the city. If I cannot back up my statement that Klowns spit more than a camel on MDMA, I will admit defeat and say I was wrong. On the other hand, if a Klowny says, “Klownisms are limited only to a very small section of the adult male Korean population” and is then challenged, he will immediately change the topic to the Korean War or racism or Ethiopia or some fucking thing… and will consider himself a winner. He will hatefully call me a hateful asshole, then consider himself as having won some sort of moral battle.

        Klowns, including Kaucasian Klowns, aren’t just socially-retarded slop bucket feeders, they are hypocritical fucks who don’t want to know what they don’t know. Simple, monosyllabic explanations, preferably delivered by cartoons in bright colors and with a lot of “boing boing” sound effects, are the best option for communicating with Klowns.

        They’ll gape, stare, dribble a bit of drool off the ol’ chinny chin chin, guffaw and then repeat, in semi-slurred shout-talking how marvelous the kuntry of Klown is. They will be told a “good job” and “way to go champ”. They will present a special Olympics promo-worthy bucktoothed grin and guffaw once more. They will be rewarded will food that most people around the world would consider compost. They will marry some homely (dog ugly) Korean woman. He will be paraded out at Klown special occasions with the taekukgi emblazoned on his padded helmet to listen to his wife’s Klown kousins repeat the same 5 English words over and over. He will live in borderline poverty for the rest of his life. He will feel very proud of himself, possibly for not sticking a Beretta against his uvular palate and blowing a sticky mess all over the peeling, cheap wallpaper of the ceiling of his shitty Klown apartment.

        I, on the other hand, will suffer through this cancerous sludge of Klown, age myself considerably, but leave here in about 3 years with enough in the bank to not need to work for any asshole but myself back home. I will take solace in the fact that I’m not delusional.

        Watching Kaucasian Klowns on the internet is like watching “Jesus Camp”. I kind of feel for the poor, weak-minded bastards, but the bulk of my sentiment leans more towards Darwinism and knowing that isn’t really any place for them in the world of tomorrow, with its harsh, bitch-slap-you-in-the-face realities.

  3. it’s funny. there have been many apologists who want to disagree with what has been written on this site, yet not a single one has even tried to refute any of it. just internet Klown “shout-talking”.

      • I would honestly like to hear someone try. Otherwise what’s the point?

        They’re like bullied 8-year olds, pointing fingers at you and crying “You’re mean!” If you call a dumbass a “dumbass”, it may be mean, but that doesn’t make it untrue.

      • It’s like reading Dave’s.

        A: Klowns are disgusting.
        B: You’re wrong. Koreans are great. Only a tiny percentage of Koreans are disgusting.
        A: Kids, men, women, old, young, it doesn’t matter – a great number of them exhibit Klown behavior, which never ends generation to generation as apologists like you join in with other Klowns in excusing, validating and thus socially-reinforcing the behavior as you attack the critics rather than the offenders. That’s why they are Klowns.
        B: You’re a racist!
        A: No, Klown is a “culturist term” which is based on observable and measurable behaviors that are so oft-repeated that they bear their own socio-cultural term, rather than on skin color, which is not behavior but rather how various wavelengths of light are reflected from one’s skin based on melatonin content.
        B: It’s racist. Everyone knows that because I said so! Also, you have to understand that some Koreans have had a hard life. There was a war here you know, you heartless bastard!
        A: There was a war in Ireland too. The Irish have a much smaller percentage of Klownisms in society than Koreans do. There was a war in Yugoslavia, and a history of conquest and economic difficulty. You don’t see the same level of Klownisms in the new republics there that you do here, and the war there ended after the wealth began flowing here.
        B: You just don’t understand their special situation, you racist!

  4. Better yet, these wacko Koreaboos don’t actually refute social criticism in many cases. What they usually say is “….oh, and that doesn’t happen in thr USA too? Hey man, in the USA they have guns and crack! So you can’t criticize anything!”
    Want an example? Go look at the comments of any article critical of Samsung’s blatent patent violations. It’s always “Hey man, Apple rips off other companies too!” Completely and totally skirting the original issue at hand by using the “other people do it/other places are worse” line.
    The reason people call you a racist instead of saying that you are wrong, is that they can’t really refute your points and so they get lazy and throw around the issue of race, which is always easier than trying to prove an accurate observation wrong.
    This guy, and others who are upset by these posts should “Fuck the fuck off”, as you said. They are contributing to society’s ills by pretending that they don’t exist.

    • Pretty much. Yup.

      There is no refutation coming because I’m not wrong. The Klowns out there, Korean and non-Korean alike, can’t say I’m wrong. They can redirect and deflect and reroute… “it is bad in Yemen too!” or “there are exceptions” or “you’re a racist” or “kill yourself” or “kimchi prevents sars” or whatever… but it’s all an avoidance tactic.

      The truth is that Korea bills itself, loudly and repetitively, as a first-world, progressive nation. This is a lie. Socially the country is filled with Klowns, and the truth is that Klowns are deeply fourth-world.

      You’re absolutely right that pretending that this isn’t so only perpetuates the problem.

      Some people, apparently, would rather be wrong and sucking the ball sweat of a bunch pig people than to risk speaking out against “Dear Leader” South Korea, which may give them a pat on the head.

  5. A side note. Did “Clown” purposelessly spell his name with the “C”. Is he one of those Koreans who like to spell Korean with a C thus Corea. If he is then he is special Klown. That Klownism that keeps trying to change something pretty much settled cause of the perceived error or slight. From Sea of Japan to block printing.

    • He seemed slightly retarded, so he may not have understood the whole “Klown with a ‘K'” thing.

      I’m not going to worry about it too much. I imagine he’s going to get piss-pants drunk on foul soju some day soon and wrap his already dinged-up Kia morning around a lamp post.

      Nobody will weep. Relatives will shout-talk and fight over who gets which of his valueless possessions they get. Sisters will become estranged over the rights to his Goldstar Betamax video tape player, which he only ever used to watch Japanese cartoon porn.

  6. a short while before i left korea, a friend of a friend had a nervous breakdown of some sort. although he appeared “fine” he would go into length about how his neighbors were secretly breaking into his apt. and setting up cameras and microphones to record him. he would also say that the neighbors would go in and take out all the recording equipment and 2 way mirrors if anyone would try dispute the claims by visiting his apt. these claims escalated in frequency and detail until my friend decided to take him to the “top” english speaking psychologist at one of the “top” hospitals. well, after a very expensive hour and evaluation it was suggested that the clearly mentally ill friend of a friend move out of his apt., because his neighbors sound “crazy”. i shit you not.

    • There are several aspects of that story which are unsurprising.

      Primarily, that life in Klown would break and otherwise fragile and on edge psyche into pieces… As well as the fact that somebody clearly mentally ill would be treated that way by mental health “professionals” here, which is at oxymoronic as it gets.

      All things mentally healthy come here to die.

  7. You da funny guy.

    Please be careful though. Gyopos are particularly good at hunting down those of us who criticize Korea on a regular basis.

    I’ve had more death threats by gyopos than I can count.

    • Post coming soon on the topic of Klowns like that….

      These Korean Sentry hypocrite motherfuckers.

      “I hate you and the entire Caucasian race. I am unashamedly racist and see not difference between the color of your skin and your social behavior. I hate western countries for no reason in particular, and when I lived in the west I was social outcast. I was bullied. I assume that this was not at all due to my personality or behaviors (learned in Korea or through Korean parents) but due entirely to the fact that the White Devil is evil. I say all this shit but yet advocate violence and murder and all manner of threats against any White Devil critical of Korea. I lack all self-awareness. I have a poster of the Virginia Tech shooter on my wall.”

      But i digress… more on them later

  8. Pingback: We Don’t Need No Water Let the Motherfucker Burn! | klownisms: life in Klown

  9. Pingback: Man’s Best Friend | klownisms: life in Klown

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