The human brain is a fragile thing. It is a complex organ in which everything must be in a state of delicate balance. Even a slight variation in the corpus callosum can produce an Einstein. A deficiency in one neurotransmitter or another, caused naturally or as a result of external influences, can completely alter a person. In the civilized world, where due respect is paid to modern medicine and the millions of hours invested by thousands of brilliant minds over the centuries in pursuit of more refined medical knowledge, medical treatments for chemical imbalances in the brain are employed as well-researched, well-vetted treatments for ailments of the most important, most sensitive of human organs. In progressive, intelligent societies, much of what may have been termed “crazy” back in the era of Stoker-esque asylums is now a diagnosable, treatable “imbalance”. In fact, now a century deep into modern behavioral and psychological sciences, the modern world has come to accept, dispel the myths of and even popularize the treatment of “maladies of the mind”. This is not to say that our species has overcome the challenge of mental illness, or even that we have some close to understanding the brain in its entirety, but the progressive have embraced and come to respect the science.
And then there is Klown.
Klown understanding of modern medicine is… sketchy at best. A huge variety of ailments are still treated with “traditional” techniques. When I say “traditional”, I mean medieval. I imagine that if Klown “doctors” could somehow connect blood-letting and leeches to “traditional kulture”, they’d have the blind nationalist Klown zombies lining up by the hundreds. I’d mention vomitoriums, but that is already a big part of Klown kulture as evidenced by only every street on every city in the country. The attitude of deliberate ignorance… that “Klown Knows Best”.
Now, I can’t be sure sometimes (most of the time) if Klownisms are the result of Klown Kulture or diagnosable psychological ailments. Having searched the DSM-V front to back several times, I have found no listings for Klownophrenia, Klowntism or Klownentia… but damn it if it isn’t hard to distinguish the two sometimes. Letting delicate human minds swim around in the radioactive, poisonous waters of the Klown Kulture Oceean without [private, non-publicized] access to (or even acceptance of) medical treatments for all things mental is as bad as putting guns in the hands of inbred, borderline retarded American hicks… maybe even worse given the disgusting population density of a place like Seoul compared to the wide-open, cousin-marrying spaces of redneck territory (not to mention the abundance of wildlife to shoot at versus the virtual extinction of all animals save mosquitoes, cockroaches, pigeons and stray cats… I mean shit, I think I’m hallucinating if I even see a squirrel here). One has to wonder how many lives could be spared with a bit of sertraline, olanzapine or (klow)nazepam, or even some good old-fashioned counselling that didn’t include telling the sufferer they were too fat, should have a shot of soju, needed to eat some bottom-dwelling sea scum or that they should just see a whore.
In 2008, a Klown set fire to “Korean Cultural Treasure Number 1” in true Klowny dramatic, dignity-less fashion with some paint thinner and some cheap Klown lighters. How “National Treasure Number 1”, located right in the heart of the city where important places like City Hall are, an area constantly full of “police”, was left so vulnerable at 8:50pm on a weekend is another story. One imagines the dozens of Klown tourists that must have been stepping over Arsonist Chae as he squirted bottle after bottle all over the the columns and floors, averting their eyes and bowing their heads, unable to question the obvious authority granted Chae by virtue of his white hair.
Apparently, Chae was ripped off and cheated somehow (surprise sur-fucking-prise) by some Klown land developers. According to Chae, he was angry at the government for backing the Korrupt developers (surprise sur-fucking-prise). He had already served 18 months for arson at another Kultural heritage site. It seems he really didn’t make any secret of his desire to see Klown burn, and he was high on up the Klowny ladder of prestig-ee.
The Namdaemun gate fiasco is noteworthy among other Klownisms (of which there are a seemingly unending supply) because of its symbolism. Here we have ol’ silver-haired Chae, given some powdered weeds and acupuncture instead of actual medicine, several times over abandoned by the kulture that klaims to respect age. I guess in the translation from Korean into “respect”, something is lost. Further, in testament to the nation that tells the world, and itself, repeatedly, how war-ready and secure against attack it is, we have ol’ hyung-nim Chae spritzing accelerant all over the most important national kultural treasure, in an area swarming with conscript “soldiers” and “police”, surrounded by Klowns of all sorts, everyone “understanding his situation”. Heads buried deep as kimchi jars in the dirt. Imagine if Chae were a Nork covert asset (assuming the Norks were any better able to remove their craniums from their sphincters than their southern “brothers” are). Holy shit. Sleep safely Korea.
All under the original symbol of Korea. Whatever Korea claims to stand for – culturally and traditionally – surely the Namdaemun gate must be considered the primary symbol thereof. Though markedly less-refined, it is the Champs d’Elysees of Seoul, the Statue of Liberty of Korea. It is Korean culture inkarnate.
The restoration of the gate was a huge issue. It wasn’t just a rebuild, no, it was so important, so symbolic, so much a reflection of the heart and mind and soul and values of the Korean people and their culture, that it was to be rebuilt, by hand, using only the techniques and materials employed by the original builders of the gate centuries earlier. This was billed (heavily) as a source of immense national pride. A testament to the resolution and dedication of the Korean people. A show of how much solidarity united the people of the Han in times of need.
It is important to hammer home this point. This was no mere construction project. This was not a repainting of some castle somewhere in the countryside mentioned once on a highschool history exam. No. This was to be the project that would exemplify exactly what the Korean people were all about – how much their culture meant to them, how important it was to protect and preserve it, how responsible they were about righting wrongs, how awesome and beautiful traditional Korean culture was… in short this project would show Koreans how much their leaders respected them and would show the world how proud and beautifully indefatigable the traditions of Korea were.
No spoilers now. Can you guess what happened? Can ya? C’mon, just speculate a second before scrolling on. What have you been hearing about here?
You can read about it in detail here and here, but the basics are that the project was complete corruption and corner-cutting, and now we’re on to the great Klown traditional sport, passing the buck/blame game. There was essentially no oversight on the project. This massively important, expensive, symbolic, five year project was done blind, both literally (behind a sheet metal enclosure despite trumpeting the virtues of the the traditional methods being used – that nobody could see) and, well, literally, as this project was obviously not important enough to monitor, just as the last gate hadn’t been important enough to protect (but monitoring foreigners for AIDS, much more critical).
Moreover, the “traditional methods” were, of course, immediately abandoned once the Klown workers realized that it was hard to do, and once a cheaper (both in terms of quality and price) alternative was found. Of course, less than a year later, the paint is peeling…. and this is just the first thing we’re hearing of. How long before the entire thing collapses I wonder?
The “master Korean artisan” in charge, who is no doubt some Klown politicians idiot, FAS-suffering nephew, embezzled some 300 grand out of the project just by using cheap materials. He was hired despite having no experience in any traditional restoration work, then given the kompany kredit kard, so to speak, much in the manner that Klown Korporation employees the kuntry over use their korporate kards for whiskey and group blowjobs from some of the hundreds of thousands of whores working in Klown. The precedent is certainly there. Now the blame game begins as federal blames local blames tax office blames KFDA blames Sewol third mate blames father blames stressful life until the public forgets about it and everyone involved behind the scenes gets a payout.
Symbolism. Iconism. Klownism.
What exactly can one conclude and learn about Korea and Korean culture from this? This was supposed to be the symbol that would represent not just Korean culture, but the people who followed it and what they believed in. Now, once again, the apologists and other Klowns will ask the rest of us to pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. We will angrily be told that mistakes happen everywhere. We will be told that, while embarrassing, this cannot be held to represent the Korean people, their values, ethical standards and traditions. But that is exactly what “Korean Cultural Treasure Number 1” exists to do!
I’m told by Klowns and their “Bring out the Gimp” zipper-clad adorers the same boring, moronic things time after time in response to what I write here.
First I’m told that bad things happen all over the world, and that anyone can find social failures in any culture. Yes. That is, for the most part, true. Human nature is far from perfect, and as effective as some cultures are in guiding humans toward civilized behavior, none are perfect. It isn’t a debate or discussion about social failures around the world. Egypt is in the process of demolishing itself, but this isn’t a blog about Egypt and why would any Klown want to compare Korea to today’s Egypt? Russia has a major issue with organized crime, but Korea isn’t exactly coming off a massive economic routing and left with no friends. China has failures too, but the Koreans are fond of disparaging “Dirty China”, so I doubt they’d welcome the comparison. My home country has some serious problems – drug-addiction, gun violence and poor public education are some – but this isn’t a blog about the US of A. This is a blog about Klown.
And speaking of the US of A, why are they so oft-hated internationally? Despite ‘saving the western world’ several times over from political ideologies that would see us all worshiping a Kim-like leader, it’s probably because Americans can’t stop telling everyone around the world how great they are while they can’t fix their domestic problems. At least the problems are acknowledged, discussed and attacked – being self-critical and proactive are about the only things that will save the American “empire”. But those same Klowns hating on the US are probably the same ones cheering for Ddokdo ads in Times Square. Why do I hate Klown so much? Probably because Klown is incapable of hating itself enough to the stop telling everyone how flawless it is. Probably because the more Klown fails, the louder it shouts about its infallibility. When a problem with a society develops, pointing the finger at other societies and screaming “they’re worse” solves nothing and annoys everyone. That black-hat/white-hat, blame the Soviets/blame the Muslims idiocy hasn’t worked for the States, so if you’re an America-critical Klown, maybe stop a moment and think on the meaning of the word “hypocrite”. I’m an American, but I acknowledge the failures of my country. I don’t seek to obfuscate them as if I were some kind of Holocaust denier. Get a fucking klue, Klown.
Also, I’m usually told that I “don’t understand Korean culture”. I think I have a whole post dedicated to the “please understand my culture” mantra, but I’ll delve into this once more briefly. I’ve lived here 8 years. I’ve worked my ass off while here, initially trying to see value in more than just my bank balance, but abandoning that futility, still in the trenches today, dealing with Korea and Koreans on a number of different levels. To “understand a culture” doesn’t really require more than what I’ve already done. You don’t need to have a Masters in Kulture from Klown “University”, you don’t need to read a hundred books on history, you don’t need to be fluent in Korean, you don’t need to BE Korean. You just need to live it, pay attention to it and have at least two brain cells to rub together. It really doesn’t matter how many Sewols or Namdaemuns or Asiana 214s or Jang Ja-Yeons are explained (quite appropriately) by Klown Kulture (or garbage piles or scream-talkers for that matter), true Klowns will always pull the “you don’t understand” card because, in reality, they don’t understand. Perhaps, one day, like North Korean escapees who finally come clear of the fog of brainwashing and reject the divine explanation of Dear Leader, these Klowns will come to understand that, yes, Klown Kulture is deeply fucked up and that an admission of that is the first step towards changing it.
In the meantime (and don’t hold your breath), I can tell you that it doesn’t really take much to understand Klown Kulture. Klowns like to imagine that it is so intricate and nuanced that it cannot possibly be understood, merely experienced and appreciated. For fuck’s sake, get a fucking grip. This is a kulture born of peasant farmers who were, until very, very, very recently literally wallowing in the mud and living like medieval serfs. Beautiful, complex, interesting, insightful, progressive cultures have a way of becoming meaningful and respected around the world organically, because (unlike the way Klowns assume anyone not in love with Klown must be) intelligent people can figure shit out like “hey, I like the way they do that, it works well and makes life better”. These meaningful, influential cultures, as one commenter on another post put it, “don’t need to be sold”. Klowns would know this if they weren’t so weak-minded and propaganda-sensitive, but as I said at the beginning, the human mind in a fragile thing.
Klown, shut your mouth, turn off the k-pop video, stop fucking bowing, sober the fuck up and just use those 5 senses of yours. Use that fragile brain. See the threadbare tapestry of Klown Kulture stretching the last strings out toward snapping. This is a kulture now quite literally exemplified by incompetence, corruption, willful ignorance and complete disdain for the general public. Now go ahead, salute that national treasure and tell me again about how wonderful this country’s culture is…