I’m a lucky guy, I’ve been told. Lucky to have the opportunity to be part of such an old culture by living in Korea.
Because Korea is such a tiny and relatively insignificant country (both physically and in terms of necessity), and because most world travelers (understandably) give this place a pass, what most people outside of Korea (and virtually all Koreans inside of Korea) know about the country’s culture (aside from ‘Gangnam Style’ and that there was a war here) is what is advertised by Koreans about how wonderful Korean culture is. In these (often bland and poorly conceptualized) ads, Korea is a “world class” country, worthy Olympic host and home of a completely unique and ancient culture.
Again. Lucky me.
And how dare I think any differently? How dare I argue that Korean culture is NOT unique, NOT beautiful?
What Klowns would have you believe about Korean culture is that:
- It is unique
- It is ancient
- It is “world class”
- It is something that other people are interested in and is “popular”
- It is based upon some collectivist respect and thus “beautiful”
But the reality of Klown Kulture is:
- It is almost entirely ripped off from other cultures, predominantly the Chinese and Japanese, but basically any of their historical conquerors. There is very little that is unique about Korea, from its architecture to its food to its music. Those aspects that are unique are generally uninteresting or disgusting, such as fecal wine, decomposing cabbage and things that aren’t really original but bastardized copies, such as the hambok, pansori and k-pop.
- Pretty much everything advertised as “traditional” Korean culture was developed (copied) within the last couple of hundred years, which makes “Korean culture” no older than American culture. That which is older is either blatantly copied or selectively ignored (such as the Korean totem pole, a connection to the shared heritage with North American aboriginals).
- “World class” would suggest that people around the world both respect and seek to emulate a culture. Aside from some functionally-retarded Koreaboo K-poppers and those paid to smile and say Korea is great, there is nothing “world class” about Korea’s “unique” culture. About the closest was a nod from Obama about the education system producing results, but bear in mind that is the enormous failure that is the US education system making a nod to the unbelievably inefficient Klown education system.
- Paying for a full page ad in the NYT times or on a billboard in Times Square does not make you “popular”, it makes you desperate and pathetic. I’m sure there are some third-world shitholes where Klown seems a step up since they have flashing lights and shiny cars, but “popular”? Klown is about as interesting as Psy. That is to say it’s a sideshow that gets 5 minutes of your attention because it’s so fucking loud and insistent, but really it isn’t anything to write home about.
- There is absolutely nothing “respectful” about Klown kulture.
Klown Kulture is the Human Centipede, and that’s pretty much all one needs to know to understand it.
So what is the Human Centipede social model?
Well, if you have seen the movie, you know that a mad scientist sews a group of captive strangers together, asshole to mouth, so that what one ingests is defecated into the mouth of the next segment and so on and so forth. The basic concept is the driving force behind modern Korean society. Allow me to explain:
You see, Korea set out almost 70 years ago with pockets full of American and Japanese money, and delusions of grandeur fueled by occupation-era nationalism and churchy manifest destiny beliefs. From one of the poorest nations on Earth, South Korea rose (heavily assisted) through the ranks to join the economic elite. Sure, sure, the entire economic model was based on patent infringement, sweatshop labor and price fixing, but ethical or not, they got where they wanted to get.
That kind of insane, exponential progress does not come naturally/organically, and it doesn’t come without cost and sacrifice. Absent some miracle of circumstance that leaves but one economic power in the region (there wasn’t anything close to that), the only way from the bottom of the list to the top, ahead of very capable competitors, is by cheating. Okay, let’s call it “very loose ethics”, both with the domestic population (brainwashed then subjugated at near slave labor wages) and internationally with trade partners (i.e. Samsung’s history). And even then, such growth requires a singular focus, on a national and cultural scale, over generations… such that all else is obfuscated… perhaps it is paid lip service but is no longer practiced.
Social development in Korea over the last few generations has been abyssmal. There are near-starving third-world countries with better levels of community respect than Korea. I’d wager you’d be better off expecting community-mindedness in Mogadishu than in Seoul. Klowns like to say, “Oh, it’s bali bali (hurry hurry) culture”, but that’s a cartoonish and cutesy way of saying, “Our lives are nothing but externally-demanded, self-imposed, self-perpetuated stress. We exist in a constant state of stress. Psychologists should use us and not rats for experiments in stress. This is why our suicide rate is the highest in the developed world and why our subjective well-being scores are the lowest in the world. If we stop to think about our lives objectively, we want to leap from the nearest tall structure. We are in hell.”
Stress has to go somewhere. It is full of kinetic energy. While certainly some of it goes into a soju bottle and is then vomited out full force onto a school playground, or delivered by hand into the face of one’s spouse, there is just too much stress and unhappiness being cultivated to just drink or wife-beat away. That is why modern Korean culture, which has nothing to do with King Sejong or hamboks or kimchi, and which is possibly the world’s most selfish and psychologically destructive, is all about the Human Centipede.
Chairman and CEO Kim has a lot of money, but he is getting stress from those pesky international watchdogs who are questioning his falsified safety reports and international bribes. He is treated like a demi-god in Klown but like the ghetto-lottery-winning peasant pig fucker he his in any other country. He is drunk at noon. He needs to vent. Thank Korean Jesus that he is of a higher “kaste” than other Klowns! Time to release.
CEO Kim visits VP Park. Kim scream-talks at Park for 15 straight minutes about how every ill in the known universe is Park’s fault and how could Kim have let him marry his daughter and how Park is a useless waste of space who should have been aborted as a fetus. Park hangs his head and nods through the verbal assault.
Park, not able to question the higher kaste of CEO Kim, needs to vent his stress. The brothels don’t open until 3pm, and that highschool dropout with the lazy eye and the sub-70-IQ-lopsided-grin won’t start until 4. He zips down to see Team Leader Lee. Park shout-talks at Lee in front of his workers about how pathetic he is. Park’s goal is to break Lee, but Lee just bows his head like a scolded mongrel and apologizes. Now hoarse, Park returns to his office to one-shot single-malt and sexually harass his secretary.
Team Leader Lee composes himself and proceeds to launch into a verbal tirade about how his team members are incompetent, useless cum-wads who couldn’t finish a worthwhile project if the great and legendary Admiral Lee Soon Shin himself commanded it. Worker Choi pauses his handphone game and lowers his head in deference.
Worker Choi works extra unpaid hours because Team Leader Lee is staying late. Neither is doing any work, instead surfing the internet and sending kakao messages to whores, but they must stay late to “save face”. Worker Choi’s wife has called to scream at him several times. The most recent call, however, was more civil as Choi’s wife had taken to beating their teenage son for getting 97% and not more on a recent middle school exam. She felt better, but Choi did not.
Finally, Team Leader Lee leaves, and so Worker Choi can leave as well. Eager to pay it forward, Worker Choi, proceeds to cut off seventeen drivers before parking in the middle of a crosswalk in front of the local Anma parlor.
Taxi Driver Kim (no relation) was on his 13th consecutive hour of driving. On his way to a taxi soju-drinking hotspot for mid-evening breaks, he is cut off by Worker Choi. Despite having nearly caused 64 accidents that very day, Taxi Driver Kim is incensed and decides to drive his next fare, a drunk woman named Kim (again, no relation) in entirely the wrong direction. He grits his teeth as he drives.
30 minutes after getting into Kim’s taxi, Kim realizes she is in the wrong place. She screams at driver Kim. Kim and Kim get into a shouting match. Kim vomits all over Kim’s back seat. Kim and Kim move outside the taxi to scream some more. They are located 10 meters from Mr. Lee (no relation)’s window. Mr. Lee’s baby wakes up, screaming. The screams resonate through Mr. Lee’s head as he is hungover from getting falling down drunk at 6pm. He is sleeping passed out on the floor. His wife is sleeping with a black eye in the other room with the baby. She decides to let the child scream just to annoy her husband.
Next door, student Kim (no relation) is up very late studying for a test. He will get severely beaten with a stick by his mother if he does not score 100%. He is seriously contemplating suicide. The screaming baby from next door is pushing him over the edge but he dare not say anything because Mr. Lee and his wife are older than he is.
The next day, after discovering Student Kim’s body flattened to the pavement after a 19-story jump, Student Kim’s mother, Mrs. Lee (no relation) storms into the school to scream and flail at any teacher or administrator she might find for pushing her son to kill himself. She slaps Teacher Kim (no relation) across the face then flops around like a fish at the bottom of a boat, screaming hysterically as she has been taught to do by countless television “dramas”.
Teacher Kim berates the English teacher, Chris, calling him a slob and telling him the parents and students don’t like him. Teacher Kim says that Chris’s contract won’t be renewed….
And thus you get the Human Centipede. Developed of a culture where it is virtually ensured that no healthy expression of dissatisfaction is allowed… where Konfucian piety and perceived martyrdom are far more important than honest communication…. where drama supersedes logic… where the most important part of making a point is how loud you are and and how many people are watching, as opposed to how much sense you make.
One person shitting on another. The shat upon “understanding the situation” of the shitter, then proceeding to dump a hot load of now twice-digested shit on the next person down the totem pole.
This is modern Korea. Klown Kulture.
No wonder all ethics and civility has been abandoned. In civilized society, adherence to ethics and civility carries with it the reward of increased social status, or at the very least intrinsic reward. Here, failure to treat others with the same disdain and disrespect with which you have been treated is a sign of weakness. So much so that a social “win” is a loss incurred by someone else at your hand, not matter how petty or insignificant.
Unpaid debts to family members, businesses opened for the sole purpose of collecting user fees and then never opening, “microaggressions” in traffic of any sort, neglect for even the most basic safety concerns… these are the kinds of behaviors you find in the poorest, least-educated, most chemically-dependent shithole neighborhoods in the world… oh yeah… and everywhere in Klown.
It’s a way of life, and how DARE you, you gojang-ii fuck, question it! Just shut your mouth, bow your head and visit hell on the next person to cross your path like a normal Klown!
When the economy here collapses, as it will in about 4 years, there will be absolutely nothing left to motivate Klowns. The streets will be littered with bodies. China and the US may both be eager to wash their hands of the drooling, flailing, sputtering mess that is the Koreas… a mess they have thus far only barely tolerated for monetary and geopolitical maneuvering reasons.
Why would they want to keep such utterly failed states around as “allies” and “friends”… especially in light of how these Klowns treat one another.
This is the land that has forgotten community, that has completely forgotten dignity, that has forgotten hypocrisy. It is epidemic. It has infected all levels of Klown society. There is no globalization here. There is only shit or swallow.
Crawling through the phlegm and filth on all fours, both waiting for and dreading the next “meal”.