The Real Gangnam Style


Imagined Gangnam Style                          Actual Gangnam Style

So this story about a bunch of hired goons paid by local government to flip over street vendor carts because the owners wouldn’t (or couldn’t) pay the extortionate “taxes” demanded of them has been making the expat rounds as “The Real Gangnam Style”.  Chatting about it with other expats, the suggestion was raised: “We should spread the word!  We should send these videos around the world, especially ahead of the [what will be disastrous] 2018 Olympics!  We could embarrass the Klowns!” to which one like-minded expat replied: “no one gives a fuck.”


Only Korea thinks Korea has any relevance in the global social order.  It doesn’t.

Before coming here I knew only what one might read in the Statesman’s Yearbook, that the food was “flavorful” and that the women could be pretty hot and willing.  Never once did I ever consider Korea’s culture, politics or social habits to be in any way impactful on the first world.  This is why Klowns keep shouting and screaming to anyone who is bored enough to listen about Klown.  Nobody fucking cares.  And, really, nobody should.

Korea will very soon be a footnote in modern economic history.  And the best they can bring to the global cultural fabric is a fat man in a tux dancing like he’s riding a horse, coupled with some pre-pubescent looking whores rubbing their crotches while dancing with all the talent of a sciatica-suffering giraffe.  Everything else is copied.  Their exports are carbon copies of other people’s work.  Their architecture is ripped off from the Chinese if it’s old, and Soviet Russia for the more modern apartment blocks form the 80s.  Their food is either copied or fucking disgusting.

Koreans are like lottery winners from the hillbilly trailer parks behaving badly.  If it gets caught on video, you feel embarrassed for them, but you don’t give a fuck.  You sit back and know that someday soon, the money will run out and those trailer trash fucks will be back to grilling gopher over a shopping cart BBQ.  So when the politicians here are throwing chairs at each other, or hiring unemployed, alcoholic “patriots” to flip over the carts these people slave over to make a living while Samsung execs live like emperors off money that was supposed to go to the people, or when some ajosshi fuck drags a dog to death or when they are banned from SE Asian businesses… nobody could possibly give less of a fuck.  Trailer trash doing trashy stuff.  The lowest common social denominator.  Given everything and yet utterly unenlightened by it even generations later.

Yeah.  You could spread the video around, but it won’t go viral.  Things that go viral are interesting, funny, insightful, emotionally powerful or, at least, relevant.

Korea is just sad.  Just a sad, pathetic group of social retards spending their dying moments in the sun of relative wealth acting like baboons carrying $5,000 purses.

Nobody cares.  Why the fuck should they?


7 thoughts on “The Real Gangnam Style

      • Mmmkay thanks. I will. PS are you gonna talk about The korean kid at Harvard who threatened to blow up the campus, and the pnkbry guy who almost murdered the st beggar, and all the ks caught cheating on tests and of course killing people (cho and then that guy in cali at the nursing school) not to mention all the suicides. I just can’t stand how they prance around like they are so perfect when in reality they are in fact so very, very deranged. Godless and mean, they are the ultimate hypocrites.

      • There are a ton of sociopaths of the murderous/make-the-news variety out there… but as an American, home to some of the very worst serial killers, school shooters etc, I can’t go off too much about Krazy Klowns.

        Besides, what I’m more “interested” in, what bothers me more than the obviously mentally ill, is the day to day way that Klowns form “kommunities”.

        It’s one thing to shit your own pants or stand screaming in the middle of the street because you are missing a chromosome, it’s another because you are a socially-retarded Kollostomy bag Klown.

        What bothers me isn’t the stuff that can’t be helped, but rather the stuff that can be… as well as the stuff that directly impacts my ability to live a good life.

        I believe I did mention the suicides… and I will get around to test cheating.

  1. Looking at some of the old articles.
    In this case, so true. In the grand scheme – no one really cares about Korea. Or the fact of the matter Vietnam, Botswana, etc. More so concerning the West and news. Korea rates a lowish-middle medium on the spectrum of West media’s interest. If something slightly interesting happens like a ferry disaster it will get headlines. Most other events are if lucky are mentioned. Some filler and puff pieces like about KPoop or human interest story once in a while to pad out the news day. Yet in the end it is all noise. Mostly noise. The only thing that makes Korea interesting is its crazy neighbor up North. Heck without the North rattling their cage once in a while Korea would be even more ignored.
    Ask yourself the question before you came to Korea. How many Korean cities could you name. Most people would know Seoul and half likely Busan. Yet nobody could pick out Daejeon or Daegu out of a line up. Any place else would not register. The same could be said of more important countries like Pakistan. What did you know of Korean history or it’s culture. Likely a bad mash of M*A*S*H* and it might be just like Japan or Thailand ideals.
    Plus stall sellers getting roughed up is boring and local. So very pedestrian. News want sexy or interesting. Really to make people care about the situation would mean explaining it. If you can not explain it in a paragraph people are just not going to care. Or the news has to relate to people. Oh look some Asian person is selling food and their stall is getting turned over. Why should I a white guy from England care about this. Or a African American from Florida. Korea at times is too foreign and too far away.
    More later on the diminishing Korean (Tiger) economy.
    (Hope I am understood)

  2. Pingback: Kommunity Kollectivism | klownisms: life in Klown

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